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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

If dh friends didn't want to see you?

61 replies

Afeudbetweenfriends · 18/04/2016 20:54

Me and dh had a huge row last year, his best friend and wife never really liked me I think anyways. Before meeting me he was Round there most nights with them going out for meals etc looking after their children etc. when I met them the first time the wife was very critical of me not being able to drive and where I work. This night they were at ours me and dh had a row, he left with them and I didn't see him til the morning. That night he pushed me in front of them. Next day they text saying I wasn't welcome around theirs or near them or their children. Dh still contacts them and meets them regularly. Would you be annoyed?

OP posts:

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housewifedesperate · 18/04/2016 21:00

Yes, it doesn't sound like your partner is supportive

mum2mum99 · 18/04/2016 21:20

He would choose his friends over you.

fuzzywuzzy · 18/04/2016 21:24

Doesn't sound like he cares about you at all.

Do you have children together? How long have you been married?

I can't imagine dp dumping me for friends we're his family.

Scarydinosaurs · 18/04/2016 21:24

I would think I wouldn't want to be with a man who pushed me. Full stop.

You deserve so much more.

inlectorecumbit · 18/04/2016 21:25

you seems to be a spare part in this group.
Your DH should have your back he is equally if not more to blame for the row and he was physical.
Do you think he would chose them if pushed ?

penelope456 · 18/04/2016 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

flanjabelle · 18/04/2016 21:28

He doesn't sound nice.
His friends don't sound nice.
The way he treats you doesn't sound nice.
The way he allows his friends to treat you doesn't sound nice.

There is a pattern here and I wouldn't be putting up with any of it. Don't settle for a man who pushes you around and then bitches about you to his friends who also treat you like shit. Fuck that op.

AcrossthePond55 · 18/04/2016 21:29

So he physically pushed you while you were all together? And the next day they said they didn't want to see YOU? Unless there's more to the story than you're letting on (not that there's ever an excuse for laying hands on your partner in anger) then it sounds to me as if he's told them things about you that put you in a bad light.

I say 'more to the story' as DH had a friend who is married to a complete bitch. She treats him like a slave and treated all his friends like shit. We ended up telling him that we would be happy to see him, but would not associate with her. She would not permit this so we don't see him anymore.

flanjabelle · 18/04/2016 21:29

Penelope that's just nasty. Do one if you have nothing helpful to say.

GooseberryRoolz · 18/04/2016 21:30

Why are you with him?

ILikeUranus · 18/04/2016 21:31

WTF is wrong with you Penelope?

OP I'd be annoyed too, assuming you weren't massively in the wrong about what you argued about (in which case apologise to each other and move on). Have you talked about it now and ironed the issues out?

Uncoping · 18/04/2016 21:33

I feel like there's more to the story & maybe we're only getting your version.

I find it strange they would take a dislike to you and not welcome you in their house for what seems like a reason that is not your fault. You're his wife, if they were decent friends it would take a lot more for them to dislike you like that.

They're either genuinely horrible people and your DH is an arse for not being supportive, or there's more to the story.

FluffyBunny123 · 18/04/2016 21:34

Strange comment from penelope

hownottofuckup · 18/04/2016 21:36

I couldn't stay in a relationship like that

GooseberryRoolz · 18/04/2016 21:36

Penelope is probably an out of control MN addict who wants to be cut off

TheBakeryQueen · 18/04/2016 21:39

It sounds like a really weird dynamic between them all.
I think your biggest problem is your H though so I would stop focusing on them and instead consider why you would want to stay with a man who thinks it's ok to push his wife.

Afeudbetweenfriends · 18/04/2016 23:36

Didn't see what Penelope said, I understand what everyone is saying, how do I leave? We have children.

OP posts:

CitySnicker · 18/04/2016 23:41

I think you have to put the pushing incident in context for us to get s better idea.

AcrossthePond55 · 19/04/2016 00:37

Do you want to leave? Is what you've posted a small slice of the total negativity of your relationship?

If you do want to leave, then you reach out to family and friends who may support you emotionally.

Without more information it's hard to say what to do. Do you work? Are you in fear for your safety? Do you have family to turn to?

MistressDeeCee · 19/04/2016 02:09

Doesn't matter WHY he pushed her!
OP this man and his friends are obnoxious, he showed his disrespect and derision of you by pushing you ie violence, and in their presence too. Their whole dynamic is weird. Your DH has likely been bitching about you to them. I wouldn't stay with a man like this at all - sorry the whole scenario is completely weird and I'd let them get on with it all, I couldn't be asked living like that. Life is way too short to be seething with resentment - which is what happens when you are with a partner you know very well does not have your back, and puts others before you, making it obvious to those others too. These things ruin your health if you hang around rowing and simmering about it for years on end, and in years to come sit there thinking "why oh why didn't I leave him years ago"

Lunar1 · 19/04/2016 02:32

Did he physically push you?

chocolatemuppet · 19/04/2016 03:20

I was going to ask that. I read 'pushed me in front of them' as in 'made me see them'. Which still isn't great, but makes a difference to how it reads.

Like a PP said, there would seem to be more to this story - what was said? Without the details it makes it difficult to get a clear picture.

However, regardless op it does sound as if you are unhappy - and especially if you are talking about leaving, hope you have plenty of support in RL. Take care.

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FatPaul · 19/04/2016 06:38

So why don't they want to see you when your husband pushed you? What aren't you telling us?

WellErrr · 19/04/2016 06:44

Did he physically push you?

RaeSkywalker · 19/04/2016 06:44

It's doesn't sound like you're in a good relationship OP- did your DH physically or emotionally push you? Either way it's not good is it.

His friends sound strange- have other things happened between you to explain their stance?

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