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Relationships

vasectomy at 27?

29 replies

CommanderShepherd · 18/04/2016 16:29

Dh and i have been together for 10 years and have a newborn. We had always said we'd have 1 kid. DH is saying he will go for a vasectomy. Is it just me but is that not way too young? I know it's his body but we don't know what the future holds, what if we decide to have another 5 years from now. I have had the implant in the past and happy to have it again. I just don't want him to regret something that could be irreversible in the years to come

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sonlypuppyfat · 18/04/2016 16:33

No I wouldn't think it was a very good idea, 27 is very young to make such a big decision

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Uncoping · 18/04/2016 16:33

It depends how adamant he is?
Does he want to do it for him or for the both of you to avoid more kids? If it's the latter tell him you're happy to go on birth control.

However, if it's for him I don't think there's much you can do!
I'm 23 and if I could get my tubes tied tomorrow I'd be racing to the hospital. I don't want any more children with anyone, however my Dr refuses to refer me saying I'm too young. It's very annoying & undermining. I already have one and am completely confident I will have no more! Angry

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GooodMythicalMorning · 18/04/2016 16:36

dh had his done at 22 and has been pleased he did it then, BUT we had 2 children already and had decided no matter what happens we would never want more.

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swedishmomma · 18/04/2016 16:41

I'd be surprised if the doctor agreed, I'm sure they wouldn't sterilise a woman so young.

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TheNaze73 · 18/04/2016 16:42

I had mine at a similar age & was the best decision ever. Despite the warnings you are given about expectancy, if you leave the current relationship, I've not looked back

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Pippin8 · 18/04/2016 16:45

DH had his at 28, he was adamant 2 kids were enough. It's the best decision he ever made. He's 38 now & no regrets.

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CommanderShepherd · 18/04/2016 16:46

He has been taking about it for a while, he said he would get one after I was pregnant so for better part of a year. I guess it's the 'what if' I'm worried about

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CommanderShepherd · 18/04/2016 16:46

*after the baby

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CommanderShepherd · 18/04/2016 16:46

Was born

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madamginger · 18/04/2016 16:47

DH had his at 30, but we had 3 kids. He had it done just 3 months after asking the gp for a referral.

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BumpAndGrind · 18/04/2016 16:48

My DB had his last week, he was 30 in February just gone. He only has one child.

He knows he doesn't want any more so he took responsibility.

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ItsALuigi · 18/04/2016 17:04

My DH is about to have his done at 27. We have two kids, he is adamant he doesn't want any more. I've drilled into him what ifs and he's still going ahead so. His choice.

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PotteringAlong · 18/04/2016 17:07

If there's any doubt in your mind about having another then no way.

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LadyCatEyes · 18/04/2016 17:10

My DH asked and was told at 35 he was too young!! We have three children and have decided no more. We are going to try again to get him referred.

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FlounderingWildly · 18/04/2016 17:29

If he's insistent on the vasectomy would he agree to freeze some sperm? Just a thought.

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BombadierFritz · 18/04/2016 17:34

It is young but up to him, if the gp will agree. They might suggest waiting a year or two just to be sure. It doesnt stop you having more children thank goodness.

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Pinkheart5915 · 18/04/2016 17:35

I'd say he is too young as people do change there mind about these things. You've only just become parents so he may really love being a dad and want another in a few years.

You say your happy to have the implant again which I think due to his age would be the best best at the moment. He could then look at the vasectomy in a few years when his 30 maybe?

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scaevola · 18/04/2016 17:37

I think most providers would be a bit cagey about the under 30s (of either sex) seeking something as permanent as sterilisation. Because life may be long and who knows what is round the corner? I know some people see that at patronising, and of course it is possible to have total clarity about a fixed desire at any age. But reversal is far from guaranteed to work, and there are other options.

Showing him that mirena/implant failure rates are similar to those of vasectomy might be a point worth making.

But I agree with what you said in your opening post - it's his body his choice, and other than stating your views there isn't much you can do about this.

(He may well get a flat no from the NHS, btw. Private prices start at about £400).

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HelenaDove · 18/04/2016 17:40

Im childfree by choice and i asked to be sterilized in my late twenties I got refused all 3 times that i asked.

Im 43 this year and still dont want children.

Funny how ppl are always asked Are you sure you dont want children? but are never asked Are you sure that you want them?

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HelenaDove · 18/04/2016 17:48

From the link.


"The technology journalist had asked for the procedure every day since she was 26 but doctors refused because of her age, offering to give her boyfriend a vasectomy instead" Hmm

Looks like your DH may not have a problem OP.

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CommanderShepherd · 18/04/2016 17:52

Off topic but that article seems rather sexist to me. Why is it no issue for a man yet that woman had to ask and ask for years?

I recon dh & I will have a good long talk about all the options for him and me and see what we come up with

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HelenaDove · 18/04/2016 17:58

Commander there is a hell of a lot of sexism surrounding this issue. Holly gets asked exactly the same inane questions that i got asked back in the late 90s when i appeared on a couple of chat shows to discuss the issue.

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BombadierFritz · 18/04/2016 18:00

Gp wouldnt refer my dh either and he was 35 with 3 kids

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CommanderShepherd · 18/04/2016 18:04

helena I guess we should just be greatfull we get the pill Hmm

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