Married 15years. He really doenst understand just how ea he was and the damage caused during the last few years. I've known since 2012 it wasn't working, I tried hard to please and placate him, eventually that one last episode happened and I managed to get him to leave.
He 100% believed I would take him back again like I did before but we are nearly 3 months down the line now, there is no way of going back. 1 DC wants nothing to do with him for her own reasons and because of what happened that last evening and what she saw of it. Other DC see him every other weekend although he has rented out of town and there is a lot of traveling involved. I hope in time they all build an independent relationship but it will take time. He can't see this and blames it all on me.
He has done Mr Nice, offering to pay for things, I have declined. He has been Mr Regret, can't cope never apologised for his part in the marriage breaking down I've seen Mr it's all my fault, why am I doing this. I blocked him during that one and now after no contact all weekend to DC who has her own mobile so no reason why he can't text her for her to reply I've now got Mr Nasty making his appearance.
He wants me to take my name off of the joint bank account. My salary is paid into an account I opened in 2012 of which he can't see. I can still see our joint bank account which he has a problem with and wants me to sign it over to him but I don't know if that's the right thing to do as our mortgage (joint) payment is made out of that account. I'm not saying I won't do it but I want to see if it's the right thing to do before I'm forced to sign it over. He sends text messages that he will bring the paperwork over, it needs doing today, it's all so controlling and do it now.
We agreed together that I wouldn't apply for CM directly through the agency and he would pay the mortgage on the house that I'm living in with the DC. This is now seen by him as "paying for the roof over my head" "living in his house" I've reminded him that it's the CM payment he would be paying and if it was paid to me as CM I would just pay the mortgage with it. I have spoken to the mortgage company and I could look at a financilly agreement to re adjust it as I'm now on my own with the DC and earning ok ish, it's tight but with the CM payment and my salary I could stay in the house but as its joint mortgage I don't know where I stand with it all yet.
I've now received messages threatening me to not treat him like a mug or he will behave like one. I know he could be really difficult and no doubt he will be especially with 1 DC refusing to see him (12yrs old]) he could easily just not pay the mortgage and I will have to go through CM.
It's all about the control and it's soo draining, I just don't know where to start.
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Relationships
Mr Nasty is back. I knew it wouldn't take long but it's harder to control now he is gone.
HoppingForward · 17/04/2016 22:18
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