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"Not now but I'm still not sure how much I love you"

(33 Posts)
FireandBrimstone Sat 16-Apr-16 16:35:40

First time I've started a thread, please be gentle on me... Hoping someone can talk me down or stop me from going ape.

I've just received a text from DH saying "Not now but I'm still not sure how much I love you." I don't know if it's a complete mistake or if it was meant for someone else.

I need to put a bit of context. He's out with DD, she has just been playing on his iPad and sending me pictures from his iMessage account, which of course makes a continual thread of conversation with whatever texts he sends me from his iPhone too.

Just before I received the message, I got another one along the lines of 'just at work, 5 minutes...' He's not at work just now so that's a wee bit odd too.

Theory 1 - DD is copying and pasting content from other messages she's accessing on the iPad, without really registering what she's doing or
Theory 2 - DH is messaging someone from his iPhone and for some reason, perhaps because DD is on iMessage too, he's accidentally sending them to me.
Theory 3 - DD is composing and sending 100% random messages.

Either way - I have never received a message from DH saying either of the two things in the iMessages I've just received. So it wouldn't be that DD is simply copying and pasting any previous dialogue with me.

DH has not been full-blown unfaithful in the past AFAIK but there has been other activity enough to make me not feel I can trust him at this moment.

Hope I have explained this clearly enough. What would you do - challenge him on the text, try to sneak his device off for a nosy or calm the f* down and stop being so suspicious?

GeorgeTheThird Sat 16-Apr-16 16:39:18

I'd try to have a nosy, tbh.

FrogFairy Sat 16-Apr-16 16:40:49

Keep your powder dry and snoop.

2greykittens Sat 16-Apr-16 16:46:01

I'd just be honest and ask him - you got some weird messages... Did he send them? See what he says x

MoreGilmoreGirls Sat 16-Apr-16 16:52:58

I'd probably ask him face to face so you can see his reaction. If you text him he has time to think of excuses.

SantinoRice Sat 16-Apr-16 16:57:38

I can't remember what it's called, but on your iPhone you can do that thing when you're texting where the phone guesses which word you want to use next and you just hit enter if it's correct. So if she's just hitting enter, enter, enter, it makes these nonsensical sentences.

My guess is that is what is happening, as why would you ever tell anyone "not now but I'm not sure how much I love you". I can't think of a context that that would fit in.

How old is your DD?

ImperialBlether Sat 16-Apr-16 16:58:51

I agree, don't text him now. What happened in the past? I wouldn't say a word until I looked at the iPad. Does he keep his phone close to him at all times? Is it password protected?

ImperialBlether Sat 16-Apr-16 17:00:06

Santino, you'd end up with a random ridiculous sentence if you were just bashing about on the phone.

SwearySwearyQuiteContrary Sat 16-Apr-16 17:00:50

Well, he kind of loves someone but can't talk to them for a bit while he's out with DD. Is that someone likely to be you?

SantinoRice Sat 16-Apr-16 17:01:07

That kind of is a random sentence, isn't it? I'll go and hammer on mine and see what it says grin

fastdaytears Sat 16-Apr-16 17:06:21

I wouldn't say anything until you've had a chance to look at other messages. When is he due back?


FireandBrimstone Sat 16-Apr-16 17:06:37

Thanks for the responses, I do agree that if the message is genuine and meant for someone else, they wouldn't be that thrilled to read it either! Even allowing for a punctuation fail and DH has plenty of those
I'm not the calmest person at the best of times hence the MN username but will find it hard to keep under control till I do get more of a feel for what's going on.

SantinoRice Sat 16-Apr-16 17:06:49

ok, test completed. Starting with the word "not" I managed to get the sentence "not now but I'm still not sure how much I love you" grin

the other good news is that I remembered not to hit send, otherwise DH would be asking similar questions smile

SantinoRice Sat 16-Apr-16 17:10:02

Having said that, the "just at work, 5 minutes" text didn't come up. Was the comma in there, like that?

Although that could have been a text he sent to you days ago that has only just come through.

FireandBrimstone Sat 16-Apr-16 17:13:57

lol SantinoRice and thank you for conducting the experiment grin. Definitely not ruling out DD-related nonsensical whimsy.

ImperialBlether he has 'previous' for online stuff which I rumbled accidentally, without having suspected anything. He can generally be rather elastic with the truth, often about nothing important but usually I find it out sooner or later. We don't have the best relationship in the world at the moment due to a lot of stress and general baggage. So I couldn't be hugely surprised if there were something going on this time, if I'm honest.

FireandBrimstone Sat 16-Apr-16 17:19:41

Sorry to clarify, the 'previous' was some years ago.

And Santino the 'at work' message was not quite as I typed it on here - the actual message reads 'I'm at work on my way back home 5 minutes smile smile smile'

I scrolled back to check and have never received a message worded exactly that way from him either. It also takes more than 5 mins to get back home from his work confused

Merd Sat 16-Apr-16 17:25:29

It might be predictive text I think ... My phone does it too! (You choose a word, it suggests 3 words below it based on predictive text, you choose one of those, and so on...)

SantinoRice Sat 16-Apr-16 17:26:14

Yeah... see that makes no sense either as you can't be at work and on your way home at the same time. I just tried that and it did come up as an option, but not the smileys. Maybe that's just a nice finishing touch from your DD.

QuiteLikely5 Sat 16-Apr-16 17:30:18

Can't you just ask him? What use is it posting here asking questions only he can answer..........

SarahSea1 Sat 16-Apr-16 17:33:29

I also tried the experiment and got an almost identical message for the "not now..' text. That said, I wouldn't mention it but try to look at his phone/ipad for other messages - bitter experience.

Pipbin Sat 16-Apr-16 17:43:58

I've just tried too and I could get 'not sure how much I love you' to come up just by tapping the predictive text boxes.

andintothefire Sat 16-Apr-16 17:44:20

Some phones or apps have automatic "excuses" that may be similar to the "I'm at work.." message. It may be that your DD picked one of those then customised it?! I wouldn't worry yet.

Sunnyshores Sat 16-Apr-16 17:47:42

It seems to me that youre not going to believe what he says to you anyway, so Im afraid Id snoop.

FireandBrimstone Sat 16-Apr-16 17:48:05

Thanks for the messages everyone.
He is home. It may be some time before I can snoop in one or other device but I will update when poss.

BitOutOfPractice Sat 16-Apr-16 17:50:26

I think it's DD messing about - that sentence comes up for me too - in fact just pressing the words on the middle of the three suggestion boxes come up with that exact phrase

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