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How do I do it again?

(3 Posts)
DuckDuckDuck Thu 14-Apr-16 21:02:01

Right..quick back story:
Together with current dh (not married one ds who's 8yo) for 12 years. Had our ups and downs but generally a fairly good relasionship until last year when a few things came to a head (he was being a alzy selfish arse)and I called it a day.
A week later he's moved back in, things changed quite dramatically in terms of his behaviour and while I wanted him back I think I was a bit caught up in the whirlwind.

A year later I wish I had stuck to my gun's because I've finally come to the conclusion that while I love him....I'm not in love with him anymore and I think we've had our time. Most of the time I feel like a single mum...he's either working or tired. He doesn't do anything particularly wrong but nothing right either. It's like he just doesn't think about it any more.
I've been sleeping on the sofa for weeks because I can't sleep in the bed with him...we are living very much like friends but it's getting me down.

What I'm struggling with is what happened last time. He was devastated...my ds was devastated. He had to go and sleep on his mums living room floor in her 1 bed flat.
Money is better for him so he won't be stuck there but after 12 years together it's going to be a big upheaval.

I know I am being completely selfish because this is mainly about the way I want to take my life and I really don't want it to go like last time. How can I do it to them both again?!

Jan45 Fri 15-Apr-16 11:55:08

Stop thinking you are being selfish for a start, you have to think about no 1 and you should be able to find happiness, if you are happy then so is your child.

You only have one life and you should live it the way you want to, not be stuck in a dead relationship for the sake of appearances.

If you separate amicably there is no need for your child to be traumatised.

If he has money why does he have to sleep on a floor, sounds rather dramatic.

springydaffs Fri 15-Apr-16 19:55:57

Is he the greater earner?

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