Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Abusive husband

(6 Posts)
VioletSnow Thu 14-Apr-16 14:19:24

My hubby is physically abusive. I have gotten to a point where I can't take anymore. I wanna leave him but it ain't as simple as that. I come from a strong Christian family where divorce is super condemned. They will disown me and probably my kids will be taken away since I got no job. He's the breadwinner. I have tried to work out things with him but he has a bad temper. I have no one. I'm so broken . I don't have a life. I just signed on here to get help . please help me with an ideas.

Topseyt Thu 14-Apr-16 15:01:01

It would be very un-christian of your family to disown you if you left an abusive marriage.

Are they aware of how he treats you? Have you tried telling them, or won't they listen?

I am not experienced here, but I do know that kids are not simply taken away from a parent because that parent has no job. You would surely be able to claim certain benefits and would be entitled to child maintenance.

If you are in the UK try Citizens' Advice for legal advice, or Women's Aid.

hellsbellsmelons Thu 14-Apr-16 15:38:52

Call Womens Aid as soon as you can 0808 2000 247
They can help you with all sorts of things.
Do not listen to anything he has told you about kids be taken away or family disowning you.
This is all part of the abuse.
Do you have any idea how many women with kids don't work?
Thousands. Lots because they simply can't afford to.
You will get benefits and housing and all sorts of help so please get on the phone and get things sorted out fast.
If he physically abuses you at all anymore then call 999 immediately.
Make sure you log all abuse and take photo's of any injuries.
You need an exit plan.
WA can get you away safely.
Please also call 101 and report any of the physical abuse as soon as you can.
Tell them you are in danger and scared and they will put you on a priority list so if you do call them in trouble you will be their top priority and be on the scene quickly.
No-one and I mean no-one deserves what is happening to you.
You have realised you need to get out and that is a good step.
Now your next step is to pick up your phone and call Womens Aid.
The number will not show on your bill!
Good luck getting away.

Keep posting your thoughts here if it helps. It will also be a good diary log.
If your husband is really controlling and checks your computer then make sure you delete you history! You don't want him finding this thread.

goddessofsmallthings Thu 14-Apr-16 15:39:34

How old are your dc and how long has your h been beating on you? Have the dc witnessed him attacking you and/or have they seen bruises/other injuries you may have sustained? Have you needed medical treatment after he has physically assaulted you and have you reported any of his attacks to the police?

Find your nearest Women's Aid service here make contact with them as soon as possible and they will help you to leave your h.

It really IS as simple as that and, regardless of whatever your h or your "strong Christian" in name only family do or say, you need have no fear that your dc will taken away from you.

If you have any reason to fear that your h is going to physically attack you again DON'T HESITATE to call the police on 999 and when they arrive tell them what you have said here.

You may feel broken at the moment but I can assure you that within a very short time of being free of your h you will feel whole again and your life, and the lives of your dc, will be transformed beyond what you can imagine at this point in time.

You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain from making contact with Women's Aid so PLEASE start the ball rolling now and save yourself and the dc from any further maltreatment at the hands of a violent, abusive, and controlling man who is not fit to be a husband or father.

Joysmum Thu 14-Apr-16 16:59:01

I'm guessing you're not in the UK?

Ifailed Thu 14-Apr-16 17:03:12

I'm guessing you're not in the UK?
Likewise. Please reach out to whatever groups, help, counselling lines etc you have available to you. You should not have to put up with this, regardless of any religious pressures you feel under.

Good luck.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now