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Is this it?

(5 Posts)
neverdoingthatagain Thu 14-Apr-16 02:09:25

I've just spent a sleepless night going over all the crap I've had to endure in the last 12 months and I feel like shouting WHY IS MY LIFE SO CRAP?!

I'm a single parent to DD9 and DS5 and have been since DS was 4 months old. Their father is mentally ill, EA and physically abusive. Kids never see him. I have no support other than my 80yr old mum. I thought life would get better but all the worries and stresses are worse.

House got broken into in July and precious irreplaceable things were stolen not to mention feeling incredibly violated and unsafe. I still hate leaving the house and take items with me to work.

Then in August a newish lovely bloke decided he didn't see a future with me. This left me more devastated than I would have thought.

Then in September I develop a cough that progressed into mild pnemonia, along with trying to move my elderly father in a care home.

In October, struggling to stay at work due to illness, I get shafted from I thought a friendly co-worker. Basically moved sideways (though feels like a demotion). Then surgery in January that took well over 8 weeks to feel normal.

Now well into 2016 and I just want all the noise in my head to stop. I worry for my DD, she really is not mature and freaks out and is anxious. I worry for my DS who can be a real pain and hard work. I worry that I'm stuffing them up with all the drinking I do. I know I need to stop as though the booze stops the worries as I pass out, but then I wake up so ashamed.

Oh and neighbours have advised that a house up the road is dealing drugs and the lane is behind my house. Brings on more unease. I just feel so unsafe and paranoid.

I don't know where to start. I've done counselling. It just seems a never ending ferris wheel of stress. I feel so overwhelmed with responsibility.

Just wanted to hear if everyone's life is like this or mine really is crap.

daisychain01 Thu 14-Apr-16 07:30:07

Neverdoing sorry you've been through such a terrible time flowers

Thing is, the things you've talked about, most of them are in the past now, you cannot change those things. They are dragging you down physically and emotionally, and it sounds like your DD may be sensing your unhappiness and that does rub off on her. Not to blame you for that, but it's the way it goes.

If I were you, you'd be best tackling the things that you can do something about, which is your health, as you had pneumonia and you may not have fully gained your strength yet. Could you go back to your GP and say you feel physically shattered and get the GP to do a full set of bloods, to see if all is well. Getting back your health and strength will start to help you cope with life. And please consider your alcohol abuse, get that back under control?

Of the things you mentioned which one is most worrying to you? Or is it just everything together that is dragging you down?

Uncoping Thu 14-Apr-16 10:53:12

Sounds like you're having a rough time of it.
I'd be more concerned about stopping the drinking though - the fact people deal drugs near your house strikes me as less of a concern than you passing out drunk while you're looking after children who could potentially get up in the middle of the night and find their way out the house.

Take it a day at a time but more importantly, get help to stop the drinking.

HappyJanuary Thu 14-Apr-16 12:19:36

You've had a horrible year but I think you need to separate the things you can change and the things you can't.

Try to draw a line under the things that are long gone and in the past, or are beyond your control, and focus on the areas of your life where you can make positive changes.

If it were me I would be giving up alcohol completely, taking practical steps to make my home safer and throwing myself into making a good impression at work.

neverdoingthatagain Fri 15-Apr-16 02:55:47

All fabulous advice. Definitely need to separate things and stop drinking. Get some sense of control over my life. Thanks

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