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Relationships

Moving in together!

5 replies

doofles · 13/04/2016 20:28

Me and my partner are moving in together in about a months time and I am super excited!
We've been very close friends for near ten years now and we have been a couple for nearly a year and things are wonderful, so different from the boys I've dated in the past.
We've both been at uni for the last three years in different places, but we've been lucky and able to see each other plenty. He's finishing uni in about a month and moving to where I am because I don't finish until next year. I'm working at the moment while on leave of absence that I had to take because I got sick during some of my exams this year and unfortunately the only way to get back on track is to take a year out and finish my final year next year instead. Anyway, I digress.
More than once we've spent about three weeks "living together" in our respective flats and we keep joking that they are trial runs, and they've gone very well! He's moving into my flat for the first month while we look for a new flat to move into together when my current tenancy ends.
Sorry for the long message so far, I was just looking for some advice, practical and emotional, for people moving in together for the first time. I'm sure there is a wealth of experience here, and while I'd love everything to go smoothly I'll bet that there will be some challenges and I'd just like to be the most prepared I can be for everything.
Thanks everyone!

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Heirhelp · 13/04/2016 20:33

How exciting! Make sure you dicuss/set ground rules, how will you divide costs, division of cooking and cleaning, expectations of spending time together and away from each other. Make sure you keep talking to each other about how living together is going.

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doofles · 13/04/2016 20:42

Ooh yeah that would be a good conversation to have. We've thought about money and chores but never thought about what time we would spend together/apart, I guess because it's just not come up.
Thank you :)

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Eeyore86 · 13/04/2016 21:20

I recently moved in with my partner and to be honest it was a bit of an anti climax, at the start we probably saw each other more when living apart (though we spent about 3 nights together a week before moving in) due to work commitments and it was really stressing me out and did lead to arguments, however as Heirhelp says talking is really key since having a conversation about a lot of stuff it's really made a difference and is much better

I guess I'd say talk openly to each other, don't expect too much (I was guilty of that) and there will be things that you discover you dislike about your partner and vice versa when you live together, we found that accepting the minor things is important and then talking about anything else

We also have identified jobs around the house which are 'ours' ie cleaning bathroom his, cleaning bedroom mine works for us and so far after the initial starting period so good.

Good luck! 😀

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Flowersandjellybeans · 16/04/2016 00:23

Communication is key, and make sure you talk anything bothering you early, even tiny things like making the bed, or clean tea towels or whatever so you can have a calm rational conversation about it rather than letting anything wind you up.

Make sure you still have time apart and spend time with your own friends, pursuing your own interests.

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suspiciousofgoldfish · 17/04/2016 13:57
  1. Take turns cooking/cleaning if possible. Don't do it all yourself in a manically happy 1950s housewife way because it seems 'fun' at first. You'll end up doing it all the fucking time and he won't appreciate it.
  2. Make time for your own hobbies and friends (both of you).
  3. Make the most of your cohabiting, child free time by having sex as much as possible during the day, in every room of the house.
  4. Always shut the toilet door.
  5. Keep your favourite treats hidden away in a place you know he'll never find them.
  6. Keep a personal, separate savings account for your funds. Just because you never know.
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