Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Dating is rubbish, isn't it.

(14 Posts)
Teaandcakeat8 Tue 12-Apr-16 18:26:59

I don't even want a relationship!

I just want to find someone to have a fling with. I broke up with my ex in December and since then - NOTHING. I'm only 26, surely I should be out meeting men all the time. My problem is, there has to be something there - I can't do a purely physical thing. But I can't even find that!

I was talking to a safe bet on tinder who agreed to a date this week and now he's stopped replying!

Why is it so shit? Tell me I will go on a date again?

RalphMalph Tue 12-Apr-16 19:50:21

Blimey I dunno what men you have near you most my friends would love a quick physical only relationship. I am in the other boat ideally after a relationship but maybe you have a point I've not done much but shake a woman's hands in years! There are websites for what you're looking for but I shan't mention them here. Sure something will turn up soon enough.

donners312 Tue 12-Apr-16 19:54:33

at the age of 26 there is zero chance that you won't have another fling or relationship.

Just enjoy your single time!!!

daisychain01 Tue 12-Apr-16 20:10:44

Me thinks you want to have your teacake and eat it grin

You don't want a relationship, you want there to be "something there" (what?) But you want a fling, when you want it. Hmm that's enough to confuse anyone. Lets face it, men and women aren't just inanimate objects to pick up and put down, they are human beings.

Why not aim for a friendship, a bit of engagement with a real person and see what develops on the physical side, but at least start by treating people like people!

Teaandcakeat8 Tue 12-Apr-16 20:36:28

Sorry I didn't mean to sound heartless! I mean I don't want the commitment of a relationship atm, but I don't really like one night stands as I want to feel something for the person (even if it's just a bit of chemistry)!

Maybe I'm too judgemental...

SoConfused15 Tue 12-Apr-16 22:18:19

If you are just after a fling, you could try swinging websites as well as mainstream dating. As a single female you will find you are in high demand so can afford to be picky. There are single men that use these sites as well as couples. Normal safety rules apply of course!

MistressDeeCee Tue 12-Apr-16 22:27:51

You want a fling, but not purely a physical thing..not sure how that will work out! But either way, you've been single for just 4 months and are only 26! Can't you take a breather? You are too needy to cope with "just a fling" to be honest.. it can be very clinical, and you want "feelings" involved its a path to disaster. Flings are all very well if you are sure you can detach emotions. Better to enjoy being single, get out and about doesn't have to be man-focused. Have fun with mates. & it will happen naturally

daisychain01 Tue 12-Apr-16 22:33:30

I'd take a break over the summer and enjoy your freedom!

Cabrinha Tue 12-Apr-16 22:43:26

I'm curious as to why you labelled someone "a safe bet"? How did you decide that?
It's only been 4 months!
Are you only using Tinder or other sites too? Are you initiating contact and asking people out too?

Teaandcakeat8 Tue 12-Apr-16 22:50:00

I'm curious to know why I am being 'needy' when I don't want commitment? The main reason for ending my last relationship was feeling held back and I want to move cities this year so I don't want to be in a relationship which could make things complicated. But by feelings I mean some sort of physical chemistry. I feel that my ex shouldn't have been the last person I slept with and kissed after 4 months...

LovePGtipsMonkey Wed 13-Apr-16 00:56:11

if you want to feel the chemistry quickly, online dating isn't the best - do you go out to bars or sports groups, or just flirt whith whoever you meet in daily life? there must be someone you fancy now and then? Online dating is very fickle and you can't tell the chemistry - though don't discount it, just try to go out more - do you have a single friend/s?

LovePGtipsMonkey Wed 13-Apr-16 00:57:36

Ralph, you've completely misread the post! and yes, that would be easy to find.

BusiB Wed 13-Apr-16 01:01:15

4 months is nothing though. Take some time out to enjoy being by yourself .

TheNaze73 Wed 13-Apr-16 07:25:41

You've got years ahead of you, so firstly don't panic. I would hazard a guess that 95% of men, under 30 are looking for exactly what you are, so you have a big park to play in. Are you over chatting by text to men? That's a massive turn off in my experience. Good luck but, I don't think you'll need it smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now