Just that really. I've name changed.
DH and I have a few problems.
The main one, which has now come to a head, is that he lies all the time. I have been putting up with it for a while as they were small lies; I didn't finish work till late, the traffic was bad, the shop was sold out etc when actually he has just been suiting himself or not bothering to go to the shop. I thought he wouldn't lie to me about anything big...but I was wrong
He got caught drink driving a few years ago. It was horrid and I was totally ashamed but he had never done it before, was really apologetic and he ended up getting banned for a year and a half so I thought well everyone makes mistakes, got over it, we got through the ban and he got his licence back nearly a year and a half ago.
We live near a pub (literally 5 minutes walk) and sometimes he goes in after work to watch football, meet his mates etc. Most of the time he will come home first and then walk down but if he's running late he will just go straight there. Recently his car has been outside in the morning and I've thought I didn't hear/see it getting dropped off.
Couldn't be sure though so didn't say anything until the other morning when I had made a point of checking that his car wasn't outside at 23:00 when I went to bed. Sure enough the next morning it was outside our house so I went mad.
He denied it and denied it and denied it and said he had dropped it off, then changed his story and said he moved it first thing in the morning etc.
It was awful to hear as I knew that he was just lying blatently to me, swearing on the kids lives, telling me I was wrong and being a lying pathetic man child.
I have completely lost all respect for him right now, not only for drink driving AGAIN which is abhorrant but also for lying to me and it has made me think of how often he lies to me and how I don't trust him anymore.
So as not to drip feed I also caught him having cybersex with some woman once, he swore that it was just once, only online and he hasn't done it since (this I believe as he doesnt hide his phone or Ipad from me) but I am now thinking that maybe it was physical and he just lied to me as he clearly has no qualms about doing so.
We are both bad arguers with quick tempers and vicious tongues so any discussion rapidly deteriorates into a slanging match so at the moment I am just ignoring him which is not sustainable obviously.
I can't bear the thought of our little boys (5 and 3.5) being without either of us for periods of time. Also I am the main earner and his work is much more flexible so I do worry about custody if we do split up
This makes him sound like such a shit but he is a great father, works hard and we do get on a lot of the time so I'm wondering if marriage counselling can make things better.
Sorry for the essay
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Does Marriage Counselling Work? LONG
2 replies
Lurkingturtle · 12/04/2016 11:07
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.