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Sat beside partner but feel a million miles apart

(10 Posts)
LoopiusMaximus Sun 10-Apr-16 23:01:04

I feel so lonely I could cry. My partner of 7 years has never given any type of physical or emotional affection. He's never initiated a hug or kiss, not once. Never given a compliment or said I'm pretty/attractive or look nice. He could sit for hours watching the TV whilst I sit waiting for him to speak but he never does unless I start a conversation. We have 2 very young children and it has been a tough few tears for us in many ways. We argue a lot. The arguments are always about the same thing - I want and need a little but of love it affection, just to be told he loves me once or put his arm around me would mean the world.

Sorry if I've depressed anyone blush

Does anyone have any experience of this or advice?

Seeyounearertime Sun 10-Apr-16 23:02:36

So.... Why are you sat with him and not really 7 miles apart?

nicenewdusters Sun 10-Apr-16 23:25:14

How did you come to have two children with him ? I'm thinking both on a practical level if he never approaches you physically, or why did you if your relationship is so bleak ?

Is he affectionate towards his children ?

LoopiusMaximus Sun 10-Apr-16 23:28:27

Thanks for the replies.

Seeyou - it's the question I'm asking myself

Nice - we very occasionally had sex and managed to conceive 2 children within 12 months of each other (after being together for 5 years). He is extremely loving to dc. He shows them love constantly. .

nicenewdusters Sun 10-Apr-16 23:51:56

What does he say when you tell him how you feel, or haven't you told him ?

LovePGtipsMonkey Sun 10-Apr-16 23:53:39

if he's always been pretty much like this, I think he may be a closet gay who really wanted children.

aliceinwanderland Mon 11-Apr-16 06:43:47

It is worse being lonely in a relationship than lonely on your own . I think you should see a counsellor together and if that doesn't work then split. You can't continue like this. flowers

pippistrelle Mon 11-Apr-16 06:53:12

Do you talk? Not necessarily soul-baring stuff, but discussions that aren't chit-chat about the weather or family life. And have you ever? How does he respond when you're affectionate to him?

HandyWoman Mon 11-Apr-16 07:20:48

That's so sad. If you have never had any affection from this man it seems crazy that you would have children together. Did you sleepwalk into this?

I guess what's done is done. So this can't carry on, because your self esteem will disappear and your children will grow up learning that your relationship is what they should aspire to.

What would happen if you told him how unhappy you are? The first step is to see if he's willing to improve things. But it might be you have to accept this relationship never got off the ground and you would be less lonely if you separated.

AntiqueSinger Mon 11-Apr-16 08:07:20

Hmm does he show affection in other non-tangible ways? Is he generous with money, buy you presents, cook for you, fix things up in the house for you etc?

Am trying to understand. There must be some reason that you stayed together for 5 whole years before having children. Also implies children were planned? He comes across in your post as very cold.

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