Ok - first up this isn't an inlaw bashing post nor am I going to going to leave dh. I really need some advice on how I can improve my family relationships. For background, dh and I got married 6 and a half years ago. No living children yet. Our marriage in general can at times be quite tense. Not always but sometimes. I would say Dhabi can be moody and very insecure and sometimes feels wrongly 'got at'. He would say that I'm a stress head who can feel wrongly 'got at' and that I get annoyed with him too easily for nothing. To be clear, it isn't like this all of the time but we often end up bickering because one of us feels hard done to.
We frequently row over our respective families and I really can't stand it any more. It all started just before our wedding when a massive problem blew up between our dad's. Me and dh both think that the other's df was selfish and arrogant. That view has stayed with us both and there isn't much love lost between either of us and our fil although we are civil and friendly when we see them. And so to the problem. Dhabi calls to see his dps 3 4 times a wee after work or sport. I'm unable to see my dps during the week, see my mum most saturdays and my dps sometimes call round for an hour on Sunday. In addition, I have a big family who like to celebrate and do things together. This means that approx once a month we are invited to a me a l/ party etc. Literally every time there is any contact with my family dh will be moody and start a row saying he hates them and doesn't see why he should spend time with them. He has called them some vile names. I see his family whenever I am asked. This tends to be every 2 3 months because they never go anywhere or do anything and dh isn't fussed about going to see them at home any more than he already does. So we have a stand off. I will see his family whenever he asks, he rarely does but causes hell over seeing mine because I don't see his. I could instigate seeing his dps but don't feel I should have to. I also have a lot less free time than dh. But something has to change and I know that's with me as much as dh. How can we leave this horrible problem behind?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Advice wanted - how best to manage relationships with dh, dps and inlaws
21 replies
Peaceandharmonyplease · 10/04/2016 16:57
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.