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last night i walked out

(8 Posts)
ddeemummy Sun 10-Apr-16 10:30:22

My anxiety has been sky high last couple weeks on meds but still seems to be getting better of me. Easter holidays have taken its toll on me and its been one drama after another this last couple weeks.

Last night had enough kids had slept out friday night and me and hubby had a really nice relaxing night together total bliss.

Last night total opposite he had 2 mates and one of their girlfriends round i tried been sociable bit they were driving me mad and kids wernt settling they ended up going to pub. Husband turned back up at 9ish and said id been really ignorant and unwelcoming towards them I didnt think id been that bad. They knew i was stressed with kids not settling hence one of them suggesting pub.

We ended up arguing, he kept saying he was off back out only came home to get some more money and wanted our joint bank card. Told him no ive budgetted for week and he went nuts kicking kitchen stool over said he was gonna borrow some off his mate then. Our eldest son came down see what was going on and he took son back up to bed while up there I walked out got in car and went sisters.

Just come home and hes took kids and dogs out. Hes appologised over phone and said hes worried about me but im pissed off big time.

Us arguing isnt a regular occurance but it always seems to ne when im already feeling low and stressed. First time ive ever properly walked out Feel hurt that it came to it and really mad with myself.

im not drinking at moment and he seems to think if I had of been id of been drinking with them and hes probilly right

nicenewdusters Sun 10-Apr-16 12:19:55

Sorry you're having such a rotten time. I think it's completely acceptable for you to remove yourself from such a stressful situation. It's not a sign of defeat, in fact I think it shows you are being responsible. So he's unsympathetic to you, comes back for more money for the pub and kicks off when you reasonably say it's not there. No wonder you left.

Don't be mad with yourself. If he's truly worried about you he should be helping you, not drinking and kicking furniture.

ddeemummy Sun 10-Apr-16 13:37:17

Im not sticking up for him but hes not usually that bad, hes said hes sorry and that it was just because his friends were saying he is pussy whipped and been winding him. He said he feels he needs some escapism aswell but whenever he meets with friends or something I Find faults.

Hes very hands on with the kids and he works hard and he is usually supportive of me. He doesnt get out much and I could of give him bank card there is a bit spare but it was just way he was when he came back.

Not having him kicking furniture though like a big kid. I dont want to discuss anything with him at moment whilst kids are about as dont want another row.

OurBlanche Sun 10-Apr-16 14:01:37

He is pussy whipped?

Ask him, calmly, what he thought about that as a comment. What does it really mean? Who does it insult most? Ask him if he agrees with that lovely description f himself and you...?

Then ask him why he gives those friends any space in his life? He has kids, a family, they can piss off with their juvenile misogyny.

Tell him what you said in your last post, you would love to be able to find a bit more money for him to have a bot of down time, but when he behaves like that you find it hard to even look at him, let alone decide what to go without for him.. and remember to ask him for some money so that you can have some out of the house, fun time!

You know him, we don't, maybe this can be the catalyst for a good, productive chat between the two of you. I hope so!

goddessofsmallthings Sun 10-Apr-16 14:54:26

I unreservedly agree with Blanche. and I wasn't aware that 'pussy whipped' is a term that can be applied to a man who places the wellbeing of his dw and his dc above going out with his mates, and more especially when those mates are a bunch of misogynistic plonkers of the kind that can be commonly found resting their beer bellies on bar stools in pubs the length and breadth of the country.

ddeemummy Sun 10-Apr-16 15:06:42

Thanks I do agree with you. Hes always been very influenced by his friends hence him not going out much as Im not keen on half of them I know I Am a bit bossy at times and he does do alot around the house and with the kids.

Going to be having a good chat later, SInce he came home hes done dinner and appologised again for acting like a spoilt brat he knows he was in the wrong

goddessofsmallthings Sun 10-Apr-16 15:36:39

Moire fool him if he hangs around with a bunch of saddos as he'll be tarred with the same brush and will have little opportunity to expand his horizons by chatting to far more interesting individuals who hold well-balanced views that they're willing to share over a couple of pints.

ddeemummy Mon 11-Apr-16 09:47:56

I know in fairness I dont generally mind the two guys in question not sure who said he was pussy whipped my guess the single one confused

We have had a chat anyway I know hes sorry, he seems to think everytime he gets chance to go out or anything theres some drama which dampers it, and this weekend has been only weekend in a fair while His son hasnt been staying so he wanted chance to see his mates! He said he made sure we had Friday together and suggested they came to our house as knew money tight and didnt want to leave me stuck in with kids, but apparently I made them feel like I didnt want them there. Not that I did intentional ive appologised aswell.

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