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frustrated

(8 Posts)
danipate91 Sun 10-Apr-16 00:08:12

so my partner spends a stupid amount of time on hes xbox, we dont hardly talk apart from when we go to bed on a night, i can feel us drifting apart, its the last thing i want because i love him to bits, he does everything he can for me and our son. i never knoww though if hes talking to me or hes friends on xbox. he thinks that popping hes head into the livingroom to me every hour is making me feel better but it isnt. i get so frustrated because i can hear him laughing with hes friends on there and i cant remember the last time he laughed like that with me. we dont go out for days together, have a meal, or even snuggle up watching a film. when we first started going out we was going for a nigh out once a week now all that has stopped, it just feels like the fire is slowly burning out. someone please give me some advice or their opinion on it. i dont want to split up with him but were slowly moving further apart.

crazycatdad Sun 10-Apr-16 00:15:35

Have you told him how you feel? You could start by showing him the post you wrote above.

danipate91 Sun 10-Apr-16 00:25:15

ive mentioned it to him a few weeks ago and he said he will spend less time on it, it lasted a day or two then he was straight back on, he now gets involved in all the tournaments ie forza, fifa etc. which means people are competing at different times of the day. i thought if i left him to it he would realise how much time hes on it and how less time we spend together, but that also hasnt happened

Bogeyface Sun 10-Apr-16 00:33:17

Games are addictive, and having lost entire evenings to Lego Star Wars, you often dont realise just how much time you are on them.

I think rather than leaving him to it, you agree a certain amount of time per week that he can play uninterrupted and then he turns it off.

Bogeyface Sun 10-Apr-16 00:33:53

Also the words "Do you realise that I have considered leaving you over this?" can have a massive effect. Either it pulls them up or they dont care in which case, decision made.

danipate91 Sun 10-Apr-16 00:41:13

thanks for all your help guys, been a massive help and great advice, thank you

salsamad Sun 10-Apr-16 00:42:43

You need to speak to him as soon as you can about how this is making you feel. You must be honest and open with him - say the way he is behaving is making you feel like you are drifting away from him.
You don't have to argue, just explain calmly that his lack of attention and interest in you is really upsetting you and making you very unhappy. Ask him to spend less time gaming and maybe suggest he games only 2-3 nights a week, that way he can still have some "me time" and catch up with his mates.
Tell him that you need to have more quality time with him as a couple - suggest going out for a date night regularly and ask him to arrange a night out for you both for next weekend.
Real life is passing him by as he looses himself in the alternative gaming world, if he's not careful he is in danger of loosing you.

crazycatdad Sun 10-Apr-16 00:44:30

He has a video game addiction. If you confront him about it, he'll tell you that he'll cut down, but he'll quickly go back to how he was. Dealing with it is like any other addiction and it has to start with him acknowledging that he has a problem.

Leaving him to it won't work as he is unable to self-regulate and is unaware of time passing while he is playing.

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