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hate being single

(20 Posts)
cleowasmycat Sat 09-Apr-16 23:56:16

I know I should be embracing singledom after a shitty breakup just before Xmas but I'm not. I don't like it. I'm sick of sitting on my own. I hate coming home to no one. Rant over.

Holowiwi Sat 09-Apr-16 23:57:50

Imo when you are happy single you are less likely to end up in a subpar relationship

cleowasmycat Sat 09-Apr-16 23:59:55

I just can't seem to be happy single!

Baconyum Sun 10-Apr-16 00:14:32

It's early days. I've been single 13 years, first year was tough as you're used to being a couple, another body in the bed etc but then you get used to it and then in my case I got to preferring it. There are lots of advantages to being single.

LovePGtipsMonkey Sun 10-Apr-16 00:26:09

there are advantages, Bacon, but really it's not for everyone longer term. OP, I so understand you - though I wasn't sick of it for a good year.

Your three months is very little, and unrealistic to find a new relationship anyway! But you could try online dating just to get out and about a bit, maybe you won't miss it so much when you go out in some evenings) - for now. Take time to find the right man, it's 100% better to be single and going home to no one than going to someone you find boring or worse!

It's important not to get so desperate as you'd settle for any ok-ish guy - even if you do feel desperate, pretend you are not when dating.

Baconyum Sun 10-Apr-16 00:28:13

I wouldn't recommend dating yet, maybe do something like meetup or other friendship apps, just get out and do stuff you always wanted to?

donajimena Sun 10-Apr-16 00:38:11

I hear you! I know there are lots of people who are genuinely happy being single but I definitely wasn't one of them.
By the time I met my OH I was at peace with being single rather than loving it!
Its not a crime to admit it either and neither does it mean that you'll date just anyone.
I love watching first dates and there is always someone who is unhappy with being single yet turns down another date with someone who they didn't click with.. hardly desperate behaviour!
Fill your life and make peace with your singledom for the time being. Be proactive.
As I heard a few weeks ago the thing about being single that sucks is' having loads of people to do something with but no one to do nothing with'... flowers
But never forget that it is ALWAYS better to be alone than badly accompanied.
Its a tough one x

psychomath Sun 10-Apr-16 00:49:29

Evenings alone can be hard - I've found that it helps when you're feeling lonely or otherwise down is to distract yourself until it doesn't seem quite so bad. Do you have any friends you can meet up with? Hobbies (solo or otherwise) you can spend time on? Places to go in the local area - theatre, cinema, cafés? Books or TV series you want to get into? Could you do a day or weekend trip to another city, just for a change of scene?

I know none of these are likely to directly change the fact that you're single at the moment, but that's something you can't control right away. In the meantime, if you can help yourself feel better while you're waiting to meet someone else then it'll improve your confidence, and as others have said will increase the chance that you'll end up with someone who's worth being in a relationship with.

cleowasmycat Sun 10-Apr-16 09:15:08

Thanks for your kind replies. I'm a single mum with a young daughter so I'm limited in being able to go out and about so that's prob not helping. It's nice to know that people understand X

donajimena Sun 10-Apr-16 20:39:54

I'm also a single mum with 100% care of my children. I made more than a few poor choices in relationships but I have met someone lovely now. We've been together for over a year.
I think being less able to go out and lead a full life does add to the feelings of despair at being able to change your situation but you will get there.

cleowasmycat Sun 10-Apr-16 21:09:04

Where did you meet your partner?

donajimena Sun 10-Apr-16 21:12:57

OLD! I simply wouldn't have met anyone without it. I don't go out unless its planned weeks in advance and then I don't deviate from my friends when I do join them.
I work alone too!

donajimena Sun 10-Apr-16 21:13:44

How old is your daughter roughly?

cleowasmycat Mon 11-Apr-16 13:47:31

Not having much luck with OLD! All talk and no meet ups.
My daughter is 8.

StillDrSethHazlittMD Mon 11-Apr-16 14:17:37

Christ. It's been a couple of months! Seriously, come back and say the same when it's been years. Try sitting on your own night after night for six years (which is how long I've been single). My best friend is 38 and been single 9 years. Neither of us are single parents and neither of us have had a date in years and both have given up online dating. Is it lonely? At times. Yes, we keep busy and yes we see friends but we have no one at home ever - you at least have your daughter so you at least have another presence around.

Scooterloo Mon 11-Apr-16 14:25:06

You sound like a friend of mine who found it impossible to be single, if she was single for a few days she's be curled up in a pit of her own misery wailing, 'its alright for you. you're used to it'.

Frankly, pathetic.

Look inside yourself and wonder why you need to be with somebody.

donajimena Mon 11-Apr-16 15:22:11

Thats a bit harsh scooter I didn't 'enjoy' being single. I much prefer being with my partner but I had plenty of enjoyment in my life and I wasn't sitting at home wailing either. I know you are referring to the OP but it's not a crime to admit to wanting a relationship.
Just don't take a shit relationship over being single. Thats far far worse.

Joy69 Wed 13-Apr-16 17:19:19

Im in the same position. Generally quite enjoy the single life, especially in the day when I can potter about doing the things I want to do. Absolutely hate it in the evenings where the kids are at their Dads. Feel so lonely & think is this it then? Need to get myself out more, but not quite ready (or brave) enough for the dating scene yet.

happyandsingle Wed 13-Apr-16 19:56:06

Seriously get a life other than needing a man........ I know so many women who cant do a day without a relatiinship.

donajimena Wed 13-Apr-16 20:02:06

Happy thank goodness I'm not one of those! I'd hate to be one of those people (male or female) who would rather have a crap relationship than be alone!

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