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Hand holding please MIL arriving today

(17 Posts)
FrancisdeSales Sat 09-Apr-16 19:02:41

My DH and I are about to start marriage counseling on Monday. We are basically very happy, the issue we have had ongoing problems with is his mother's literal obsession with him. There is a very long back story but it has come to a head in the last 12 months as we moved back to his home nation. In case you think I must be awful, MIL spent 3 whole months staying with us/DH from Jan-Sept year.

We have finally begun to look at this issue seriously and DHs own role in it all. We live 12 hours away (thank God) but I asked her to come for 24 hours for our youngest child's 1st Holy Communion tomorrow. I am dreading it but just focussing on the fact that it is for DS who asked me if she was going to come.

Just for the record she has screamed and ranted at me in the past as well as chase me through my house so I had to lock myself in the bathroom to get away from her. She doesn't behave like this with witnesses outside the family (usually) so I think it should be fine. I just do not like to be around her for very long. I can put up boundaries but she has none.

FrancisdeSales Sat 09-Apr-16 19:05:23

p.s. she is staying in a hotel at my insistence although she told DH she didn't think her Dr. would agree to it.

He didn't fall for it and said she can call us any time if she needs medical help.

Creampastry Sat 09-Apr-16 19:10:29

Jeez.... Good luck and counting down the next 24 hours for you!

OliviaStabler Sat 09-Apr-16 19:11:10

Good luck to you flowers

tribpot Sat 09-Apr-16 19:12:07

Well done you for staying strong and insisting that she stays in a hotel. At least your home will remain your sanctuary.

NoCapes Sat 09-Apr-16 19:12:13

Good luck and lots of wine to you!

FrancisdeSales Sat 09-Apr-16 19:28:02

Thank you smile I don't have any family here but 30 people are coming tomorrow so that gives a good buffer.

lem73 Sat 09-Apr-16 19:31:02

shockYou are not awful. My pils are hard work and put a strain on my marriage but she sounds toxic. Good luck. At least your dh seems to see your point of view.

FrancisdeSales Sat 09-Apr-16 19:55:20

MIL can be charming and lots of fun so I'm hoping she is in good form.

FrancisdeSales Sat 09-Apr-16 20:43:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisdeSales Sat 09-Apr-16 20:45:22

Lol wrong thread! Similar prob though!

Vedamakesthebesttoast Sat 09-Apr-16 20:52:29

Looking on the bright side at least if she acts up it'll all be fresh for your counselling session on Monday so your she won't be able to minimise anything she has done in the past of that was your starting pint in your session iyswim.
Stay strong and good luck

FrancisdeSales Sat 09-Apr-16 20:56:37

Thank Veda. Yes I hope we have enough boundaries in place (flying in tonight, flying out tomorrow) so a lovely time is had by all but especially DS.

FrancisdeSales Sat 09-Apr-16 20:57:59

I will be reporting live here though if anything kicks off!

floatinglight Mon 11-Apr-16 13:54:09

Hope it went well OP.

Vedamakesthebesttoast Mon 11-Apr-16 17:21:41

Ditto, hope it went well and also that your first counselling session wasn't too traumatic but fruitful

FrancisdeSales Tue 12-Apr-16 21:19:07

The visit with MIL went really well. DS had a great day.

The counseling however was just awful. I feel too wiped out by it all to write it all down. DH just said he didn't want to be there and saw no point in it and I needed to understand that he had no TIME (despite him spending hours all week and weekend on his car and scooter which he is renovating).

General impression was that our marriage is not even on his to-do list let alone a low priority.

Depressed, frustrated and feeling like DH always avoids and denies. What is the point? Waste of time.

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