I'm not sure what I'm hoping out of posting on here. Encouragement? Stories of others who have been through this and have made it on top?
I was madly in love with the father of my child. He was madly in love with me as well. We knew we were it for each other and everyone around us knew as well. Then I became pregnant. Little did I know that there were some wounds in me that needed to be dealt with. I became depressed, negative, the family that loved me like their own (his) became annoying to me. I made things up in my mind and starting complaining and telling stories that were not always true.
My ex boyfriend didn't tell me about my behavior and I didn't see what I was doing. Then on March 24th 2016 he broke up with me and left. I'm staying in his apartment until May 18th (when the lease expires). I'm not working and have been relying on my church to help provide for me. He's paying for the apartment. My heart was completely devastated. It still is.
I went through some inner healing to deal with the triggers that were causing me to act contrary to who I am. I'm praying my ex gives me another chance. I love him very deeply. He's extremely analytical and logical so he used his mind, not heart to make this decision. I miss him everyday. Especially today. We were moving to New Haven, CT because he got a medical residency at Yale together. I was going to stay home and raise our daughter who I named after his mother and myself. I hurt his family so much and I hurt him so very much.
He plans on being at the birth of the baby. I'm praying so hard that the delivery touches his heart. We can work on these issues because I am getting the help I need. He feels like his trust is broken, but trust can be rebuilt...right?
It hurts even more because I did this with my own hands. His mother told me that, I could have had everything I dreamed of with them, but I did this.
I just want another chance. If you are the praying type, please say one for me.
Thank you for reading.
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Relationships
He left me at 35 weeks
4 replies
MeliMommy · 08/04/2016 23:50
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