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EA after Separating?!

(7 Posts)
needresolution Fri 08-Apr-16 17:00:16

Anyone dealt with EA after separating?! I'm sick of his messages blaming me for the split, I've been so patient over the past year, one minute he's being nice the next minutes there's a barrage of abuse, so January I filed for divorce, he eventually signed the paperwork but he didn't have a solicitor but he ticked the box where he agrees to paying costs, now the paperworks comes through for the court date he throws it back at me moaning about how unfair it is and I've blamed him! This is a bloke who I gave 50/50 assets from FMH and is paying less than the recommended CM, but he can afford to buy himself a new car and new bicycle recently...
My blood boils, he wants me to ring him to explain FFS!! I told him I've initially paid the sol £700 does he think these sol work for free?! I'm ignoring him I'm sick of him throwing everything back at me he is such a man child, I wiped his arse for 15 bloody years sad sad
I wish he would just leave me alone sad

CommonBurdock Fri 08-Apr-16 20:25:01

Yes you are not alone OP. 2.5 years post-split and still not divorced due to XH (or whatever he is) being a total EA arse. Just don't engage or rise to it, it's the only way.

MrTCakes Fri 08-Apr-16 20:35:16

My exh still behaves like this. We separated 2014 and the divorce came through a couple of months ago. He refused to pay any costs, I got naff all in the divorce yet he still insists that I rinsed him. It is tough when you have kids and need to have contact but do your best to ignore any messages that aren't relevant.

kittentits Fri 08-Apr-16 21:07:17

Sorry, my ex and I have been split nearly 8 years and he still tries it with me. It's just his personality, he emotionally abused me all the way through our relationship (it took me a long time to realise this) and even now we've broken up, I've remarried and he's in another relationship, he still does it. I try not to engage, and I can really see the difference when I don't (he gets bored and backs off for a while) but sometimes he just gets to me and I can't help retaliating. He has his own version of events, he would describe our relationship and split completely differently to how I do, and it infuriates me.

Sorry, the best advice I can give is no matter how difficult it is, don't respond. Keep all messages factual and to the point, if he starts trying to blame you or goad you into an argument, ignore him. Try to keep all conversations in email or text form so you have records, it also helps for you to read through them when he is being nice, to remind you actually he's a knob and you're doing the right thing. Best of luck.

needresolution Sat 09-Apr-16 13:08:44

Thanks all for replying, it is very hard and I am trying to ignore, I wish I didn't give a sh!t it's the easiest way!

crazycatdad Sat 09-Apr-16 13:50:37

Go no contact and tell him you are doing so, all future contact through the solicitor.

RandomMess Sat 09-Apr-16 13:54:53

If you are serious get a new mobile number. Only use your existing SIM when the DC are with him or just before collection/pick up in case he genuinely needs to get in touch regarding them.

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