It's something that I've noticed that both xh and mil do and I can't explain it succinctly, is there a word for this?
It's that thing people do so they look like they're making the effort but you're stopping them so by default you become the villain. Crudely explained but hopefully an example will help.
XH knows we are going away. He knows the dates and place of travel (signed letter to give permission for DD1 to travel). When arranging contact for the month the only day he wants is when we are away. He has plenty of opportunities to see her but chooses the times she is unavailable, so he doesn't have to bother but can tell people I stop him.
Mil has seen DD2 once in 10 months (her life). She has asked to visit once more but it was 8.30 on a Sunday night when both girls were in bed. She gave us 30 mins notice. For context she lives 20 minutes away, drives and doesn't work so has plenty of opportunities to see her only gc. DH is now the bad son for stopping her seeing her grandchildren, that she so desperately wants to see apparently.
Both cases are of the person deliberately asking for something not possible so as not to have to put themselves out. But in a way that they can paint themselves as a victim.
Does that make sense? Is there a name for it? Thanks
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Is there a name for this behaviour?
21 replies
TheJiminyConjecture · 05/04/2016 16:39
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