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Struggling to find the words to end our marriage.

(5 Posts)
Libertybazar Mon 04-Apr-16 21:45:55

The timing is so bad (we're so busy for the next few months), but I feel so stressed and dishonest holding on to tell him. I keep welling up when I look at him because I really think he has no idea .

Our relationship is, well, OK. 'Too good to leave, too bad to stay' pretty much sums it up. We've been married a year (I now feel this was a huge mistake) together for 7, with two children. I just don't love him like a partner any more and haven't done for a long while. We are two totally different people, with different (read polar opposite) life goals, interests and views. He's a nice man, and loves the children very much, but there are very fundamental things about him that frustrate me to the point where I feel we're incompatible . Our relationship is like that of two good friends. I said in a previous post I genuinely believe we will be happier people apart. I truly believe that.

This will cause so much hurt and upheaval I'm struggling to find the strength to start it all. I feel so sad for him.

TheNaze73 Mon 04-Apr-16 22:17:09

You only get one shot at life and if you've exhausted all feasible ways of staying together then let him go. Did you know all this when you got married?

Libertybazar Mon 04-Apr-16 22:29:14

I do. The things we argue about we don't even bring up any more as I think both of us realise the other person will never change.

I don't know. Perhaps. We had a short and unconventional engagement, I planned everything I think there were points when I was planning where I thought 'why the hell is this all my responsibility, he's never going to change' (his general lack of motivation is one of my bugbears). I just didn't want to dissapoint anyone. We're both close with our families and they were all so happy. There was definitely love a year ago though and I was excited to be married to him, whereas now I feel it's just friendship.

GertrudeBadger Mon 04-Apr-16 22:38:11

Well, if your heart's no longer in it, you can't Iive a lie. It is very sad but you can't manufacture feelings you don't have. What will get better if you wait? There's no good way to start these sorts of conversations.

TheNaze73 Mon 04-Apr-16 22:52:16

I agree with Gertrude Nothing will change, the thought of it will seem awful but, it'll be a huge relief by the sounds of things

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