Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Any constructive comments on this 'argument' please?

(51 Posts)
Gobbolino6 Sat 02-Apr-16 21:41:11

Just that, really.

Wife: Guess what X did today?
Husband makes production of removing headphone, sighs, rolls eyes, glares really nastily.
Wife: Sorry, I didn't see you had headphones in. Never mind.
Husband: What was it?
Wife: It was just about X, I'll tell you later.
Husband: What WAS IT?
Wife: NEVER MIND.
Husband (shouting): FFS, you often don't hear what I say and I repeat it.
Wife: I don't mind about that, it was the nasty look.
Husband: Oh, here we go again with the criticising and making stuff up. There was no look.
Wife: I'm sorry, I don't want to have a fight, but I didn't make it up. It was utterly contemptuous.
Husband: It's all in your head. If you have to pick at every little thing I say, just don't speak to me again.

Well?

fusspot66 Sat 02-Apr-16 21:43:03

I'm expecting a chorus of ltb.

JeanSeberg Sat 02-Apr-16 21:43:27

Hard to say without back story. Is this a regular occurrence?

fusspot66 Sat 02-Apr-16 21:43:57

He doesn't seem to like you . Sorry
flowers

RudeElf Sat 02-Apr-16 21:44:15

What part would you like comments on?

TeaBelle Sat 02-Apr-16 21:44:41

I think you both need to.adjust your attitudes towards each other if you want to stay together

Gobbolino6 Sat 02-Apr-16 21:44:55

This was one of the more reasonable arguments. Normally I don't react but Im just fed up.

TheStoic Sat 02-Apr-16 21:45:21

Husband shouldn't have looked so contemptuous, that was unacceptable.

Wife should have said what she intended to say, OR immediately called him on the contempt - saying a passive aggressive 'never mind' etc is very annoying.

When contempt is involved, relationships are often on their last legs.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 02-Apr-16 21:45:57

I think I would have been annoyed to take my headphones off etc only to be told "never mind". His comments weren't good.

The couple seem at loggerheads.

HolgerDanske Sat 02-Apr-16 21:46:39

I don't think any adjustment would be necessary on my part - I would not want to stay with someone who behaved like that.

Thisisnotausername Sat 02-Apr-16 21:48:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gobbolino6 Sat 02-Apr-16 21:50:18

I know I was annoying. It's almost like a power thing now. I don't want to do what he tells me, especially as almost every conversation is like this. I'm sick of it and I'm sure he is too.

daisychain01 Sat 02-Apr-16 21:51:47

Wife: It was just about X, I'll tell you later.
Husband: What WAS IT? <<<<<<
Wife: NEVER MIND.

At the point in the discussion I marked with <<<< I wouldn't have said " never mind " Instead I think it would have been better for the wife to say what she wanted to say, so it didn't drag out the argument on and on.

OK so the DH was rude but two wrongs don't make a right.

goddessofsmallthings Sat 02-Apr-16 21:52:31

Juvenile behaviour by the pair of them but more context is needed.

Did the h say he needed to do or listen to something that required headphones and ask not to be disturbed, or did he simply plonk them on without giving any thought as to whether the w may have wanted to chat?

Does the w usually play a guessing game find some topic or other to speak to the h about when he's wearing headphones or was this a one-off?

BonitaFangita Sat 02-Apr-16 21:57:32

Good god this sounds exhausting, are this couple actually old enough to be married?

CalleighDoodle Sat 02-Apr-16 21:59:06

Jesus Christ id slap the pair of you across the face for being irritating. Childish reactions all round.

SolidGoldBrass Sat 02-Apr-16 22:01:19

Is X someone or something he is actually interested in, or were you just banging your gums for the sake of it? People who never stop yapping on about fuck all are really, really irritating to live with.

Gobbolino6 Sat 02-Apr-16 22:05:46

We're in our mid 30s. I know it's bad. I didn't know he had his headphones in. We were just sitting in the living room.
Normally, I'd try to ignore a reaction like that, say what I'd been going to say and leave him in peace asap, but I just got fed up today for many reasons.

Gobbolino6 Sat 02-Apr-16 22:06:08

X is our DS.

Twitterqueen Sat 02-Apr-16 22:07:22

You both sound as if you're in a deeply unpleasant and unhappy place. Assuming you are the Wife, your responses were irritating in the extreme and I don't blame your husband for being totally pissed off.

Lweji Sat 02-Apr-16 22:07:45

Just based on that both were unreasonable.
Any chance that you were oversensitive about the look?
But then making the interruption for nothing would piss me off too.
Is he always with headphones on? Do you always interrupt him?

AStreetcarNamedBob Sat 02-Apr-16 22:10:19

He asked you TWICE what it was and you refused to tell him. I'd be pissed off too.

Gobbolino6 Sat 02-Apr-16 22:12:43

No chance whatsoever I misinterpreted the look. I had no idea he had headphones on, he was only wearing one on the side facing away from me. We hadn't spoken at all since we sat down.

HeddaGarbled Sat 02-Apr-16 22:12:54

I think he's rude and unpleasant and seems to find you irritating.

I think you are fed up with him being rude and unpleasant and reacted pretty much how I would have reacted if someone had glared at me, sighed and rolled their eyes when I was just trying to make conversation. I wouldn't bother pursuing the conversation either if that was the reaction I got when I tried to start it.

So, what do you want to do? If you suggested Relate (probably not right now, maybe tomorrow), how do you think he would react?

Fairenuff Sat 02-Apr-16 22:13:27

Why didn't you tell him what it was. He wanted to know, you wanted to tell. That would really annoy me so for that YABU.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now