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first date nerves

(8 Posts)
needtogrowapair Sat 02-Apr-16 17:42:17

NC so as not to out myself.

I'm going on a first date with a guy I met OLD tonight. Not only is it our first date, it's my first ever real date.

I'm recently divorced, have 3 young children and have never been on a proper date before - as in going to a restaurant then to a nice wine bar, which is the plan. I'm so nervous.

My exh was abusive and controlling and shredded any previous confidence I had to pieces.

Any advice on how to not make a fool of myself?

ohforfoxsake Sat 02-Apr-16 17:47:46

Good luck - it's nerve wracking isn't it? He'll be nervous too don't forget. Have a drink, but don't drink too much. Be open and tell him how nervous you are. Be able to laugh at yourself if it goes a bit wrong, and if you aren't enjoying yourself it's ok to leave.

You are just finding out whether you like each other.

I did this a year ago - I have never been so nervous. First date, still together.

Deep breath.....

BubblingUp Sat 02-Apr-16 17:48:49

Don't get drunk.
Don't disclose a bunch of personal information.
Remember YOU are the prize. You are deciding if HE is good enough for YOU, not if you are good enough for him.
Don't try too hard. He is just a mere mortal, nothing special.
If you aren't feeling it, don't continue. You are under no obligation to be accommodating to him, his feelings, his wants, his desires. Sometimes women are raised to play the role of hostess - don't do it.
The best part is the "nerves" issue goes away pretty quick once you have met and sat down.

needtogrowapair Sat 02-Apr-16 17:49:44

Thanks fox. I've become quite good at laughing at myself since having kids so I'll remember that tip!

Glad your first date went well!

needtogrowapair Sat 02-Apr-16 17:50:35

Also a lot of good advice Bubbling. Thank you.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon Sat 02-Apr-16 17:54:56

The first date is terrifying! But it gets easier. I'm sure you'll have fun but for future first dating I would avoid a restaurant, and avoid even more a restaurant then a bar. Meals on a first date are long and expensive especially if you don't click. If you don't click then the pressure to go for a drink after is a bit stressful.
First dates are good for a coffee or couple of drinks.

Bob19701 Sat 02-Apr-16 18:08:50

From a mans point of view he will probably be as nervous as you are , when I started dating after the end of a long marriage I found it very scary . Try to be relaxed and as said earlier don't give to much personal stuff away about yourself, I agree having a meal with someone for a first date could be awkward but good luck anyway and hope it goes really well ...

ohforfoxsake Sat 02-Apr-16 19:46:06

First date we had a bit - not a lot, but enough - to drink and had a good snog in a doorway. Second date was a hotel. We are both around 50. I'd be embarrassed if I had any shame whatsoever grin Really hope it goes well grin

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