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Is tinder any good for finding a loving relationship?

(57 Posts)
hettyGreek Sat 02-Apr-16 11:51:25

I've used several different sites before like match.com where you had to pay to use and met people. But not decent guys - just guys that aren't wanting any commitment and always made me feel like they are on the lookout for something better. I know these apps have the same reputation, but it looks like a better way to match with more guys and quicker.

I've noticed some awful dating profile with guys showing a gun collection and saying they are married just looking for chat and [[http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/warning-over-dating-app-dangers-as-crimes-like-sextortion-and-rape-increases-mentions-of-tinder-and-a6805601.html ] the risks of sextortion]].

But if im thinking about trying this app there might be other normal people like me on it right?

Has anyone had any luck with this app or others? As its a numbers game I think just the more guys I get to see the higher my rate of success.

TheNaze73 Sat 02-Apr-16 12:09:24

I think Tinder gets a bad rap. Never used a dating site personally but, some of my friends do well on Tinder & are very 'active' to say the least. I know of one couple, who met on Tinder who are recently engaged. Think it's like all environments, clubs, pubs, OLD, work, you'll get good un's & wrong un's, it's just trusting your judgement

niceupthedance Sat 02-Apr-16 12:11:26

Tinder was my preferred app, you learn to spot (most of) the tossers after just one or two messages. I post this a lot, but most of the men I met via tinder were after a relationship: I rejected two, one rejected me and then I found the perfect partner for me. (I met other unscrupulous men on other sites like Pof and Okc).
It can be done. Just keep your wits about you.

Trills Sat 02-Apr-16 12:12:50

The nice thing about Tinder is that people who you don't say yes to, can't contact you.

MadHattersWineParty Sat 02-Apr-16 12:16:33

Tinder does have a bad rep. That said, I didn't expect to find a LTR on there, but I wanted dates with decent guys. I found it quite easy to weed out the time-wasters.

Went on a date with a lovely guy who I was attracted to as he just had a nice, 'normal' profile- no extreme sports boasts, endless 'travelling' pics. He chatted nicely and politely and after about a week of messaging suggested we meet up.

He's now my DP and we live together. He's the kind of guy I'd have got on with regardless of how we met but I was very glad tinder brought it together.

daftyburd Sat 02-Apr-16 14:17:22

I have actually found Tinder to be the best for meeting men who are looking for a relationship. Went on several dates with a really nice guy just no sexual spark. Had a great second date last night with another man from Tinder. I much prefer it to POF or OkCupid.
Friend is in a long term relationship with a Tinder man. It was her who advised me to give it a try.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon Sat 02-Apr-16 14:24:01

Tinder is not the hook up site that people in longstanding relationships think it is. There are people just looking for hook ups but most are looking to date. I'm dating a lovely man I met on tinder.

RudeElf Sat 02-Apr-16 14:28:07

Christ i must be going badly wrong somewhere because i am getting nowhere on Tinder.

People match with you then dont respond to a message. Or they match and then unmatch you later. Or they chat then it all goes quiet. Ive had zero dates in about 6 months.

Snazarooney Sat 02-Apr-16 14:29:35

Tinder is so much fun!

Slowdecrease Sat 02-Apr-16 14:58:02

Yes, a year and a half in my relationship after meeting on Tinder.

hettyGreek Sun 03-Apr-16 08:00:19

Thanks for all the good feedback, I'll give it a go. I thought it would be just timewasters as its a free app - but sounds like lots of you are having good results with it.

Salene Sun 03-Apr-16 08:04:40

I met my husband on POF

I think there is serious people on all dating sites it's just finding them that can be the issue

Good luck

Claraoswald36 Sun 03-Apr-16 09:04:39

Met my partner on tinder and also another lovely man before. We have moved in together.

mamapants Sun 03-Apr-16 09:13:14

Never done OLD. But curious why extreme sports and travelling is a red flag for you madhatter?

Teaandcakeat8 Sun 03-Apr-16 09:18:40

I think the best thing about tinder is that it has made OLD much more accessible and less 'taboo'. Because it's kind of fun and doesn't require any commitment to filling out endless info about yourself I find a lot more people my age are open to it. In fact, most of the single people I know are on Tinder but definitely not on match.com or similar. I'd say the people I've dated from tinder I would have also approached in a bar or the pub etc, it's no different.

CauliflowerBalti Sun 03-Apr-16 09:19:18

I loved tinder. I found far more decent men there than on any other dating site - I did match and soulmates - and I met my partner through it. Some blokes are only looking for casual sex but they're easy to spot and fair play to them. Some women are too. But most of the men I chatted to/ met were looking for ltr.

The best bit about it is it encourages you to punch above what you believe is your weight. I swiped right on lots of men I would say were out of my league. If I'd seen them on other sites I wouldn't have contacted them. But the fact they can't see your interest unless they are interested is emboldening. And they swiped back! Lots of them did, anyway. Wonderful.

Don't anticipate having to do online dating again but if I do, tinder all the way. My man is ace.

CauliflowerBalti Sun 03-Apr-16 09:22:07

Also, yy yo not filling in tedious forms. It's more like a natural dating process. The level of info you get is about the same as if you saw them in a bar or met at work. Looks ok, doesn't seem to have major personality disorder - I'll go and have a chat. One can get hung up on meat eater or Scorpio. These things are not important.

Trills Sun 03-Apr-16 11:12:23

Agree about it attracting more people who would not bother going on Match or similar.

Not to say that they're not looking for a relationship, but they don't feel like they should have to "look" very hard - they just want to meet people and date them.

cheesilbeach Sun 03-Apr-16 12:00:00

met ex-dp through tinder. Things didn't work out but we were together for 2 years and he's a lovely guy. He was the 2nd guy I went on a date with - the first guy was nice too. I met up with them after about a week of chatting - I think thats long enough to know if you like the basic idea of someone and that they are respectful and can spell! If there are ANY red flags just stop messaging. I chatted to around 100 men over a few months - some of these were a no from the first few messages and some I chatted to for a few days before one of us just stopped.

Teaandcakeat8 Sun 03-Apr-16 12:28:42

I think there's a bit of a stigma attached to 'actively looking for a relationship' - I know I would be put off by someone like this - and traditional dating sites come with this pressure. If you're paying a subscription you're clearly pursuing a particular outcome which can be off putting. Whereas with tinder it can be more about chatting to people, going on dates but without the pressure.

hettyGreek Mon 04-Apr-16 11:42:10

I found POF the worst, kept saying people liked me but i needed to pay money to see them. I paid money and there was just one guy there!

I've downloaded tinder, just trying to upload some different photos but it keeps failing. is the app dodgy for anyone else? keeps saying not responding.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon Mon 04-Apr-16 12:27:33

Yes the app can be glitchy

Rubbishpseudonym Mon 04-Apr-16 17:03:57

Never done OLD. But curious why extreme sports and travelling is a red flag for you

It's because it's such an appalling cliche on OLD.

hettyGreek Tue 05-Apr-16 07:15:49

Seems to be very glitchy, not sure why - it only has a simple job.

Some guys think that if you've said yes to them you will sleep with them right there and then, i'm using unmatch quite alot hmm

cally0 Wed 06-Apr-16 19:28:21

My best friend met her now long term bf on tinder! They now live together xx

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