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Bloody Archers

(8 Posts)
jayho Fri 01-Apr-16 19:18:02

My 11 yo said 'that's just like daddy'. Having a quiet cry in the kitchen.

I left btw, we're fine, but this story line has made the scales fall from my little boy's eyes and I'm horribly sad and horribly hopeful this means he's got some insight and we can work together on his own problems with aggression and verbal abuse at last.

AuntyElle Fri 01-Apr-16 19:42:17

flowers for you jayho for you and your boy.

jayho Fri 01-Apr-16 21:07:35

Thanks Aunty, onward and upward....

Guiltypleasures001 Fri 01-Apr-16 21:14:26

Oh lovely

Hey the little chap at least a knows what a strong mummy looks like, and does what she needs to do to protect him and herself. thanks for you and chocolate for him X

jayho Fri 01-Apr-16 21:20:52

He's had enough chocolate! But thank you x

We still have serious problems with him mirroring dads behaviour to me by being verbally abusive, aggressive and generally dismissive but maybe this gives him an 'in' to understanding himself. He clearly sees that what's going on in Helen and Rob's relationship is not right so I cling on to that and we talk about it, when he wants to.

mummytime Fri 01-Apr-16 21:33:04

Is he getting any professional help?
Have you done anything like the freedom programme?
At 11 you should still be able to get him to use simple politeness when speaking to you. Unfortunately even the best teens can be a bit surly and dismissive, so you do need to work on it now.

But well done you for getting out. And we'll done him for spotting it. Do talk to him about what good relationships look like, and red flags. And the fact that girls/women can be abusive too.

jayho Fri 01-Apr-16 21:36:34

I've done the freedom programme and we were referred to a DART course run by NSPCC but dad withdrew consent to participate and NSPCC were concerned at the effect of him continuing on his safety with his dad

He's pre-pubescent, 5'5", big boy, it's getting tougher, he says he understands but struggles to moderate his behaviour. We have support from Ed dept.

We're out but living with the aftermath.

NotnowNigel Sat 02-Apr-16 00:51:31

Could you find out some anger management strategies and teach them/model them without saying what they actually are?

Also, is he having counselling? As poster above says, now is the time. I'd be tempted to just find a good experienced counsellor and once you've checked them out, just take your boy as though it's just a normal thing. It will give him an outlet and a neutral place to work out what's right behaviour for him.

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