Common story on here... had a best friend for five years. She was older than me by about 10 years and a single mum of a DD and was also my next door neighbour. I was young and in a controlling relationship. We saw each other almost every day as I helped out with her dd when she needed to work or go on dates, and she gave me some "sage" advice regarding relationships, being older and having more experience - which eventually led me have to confidence to leave my then-P. We shared everything, told each other everything, including sharing money, as neither of us had very much. So we'd take it in turns to do a food shop, take the food round to each other's houses and cook it for her, her dd and I. If she had been paid and I needed something, she would get it for me, and vice versa. The money thing worked out about even when I look back, with perhaps me contributing more, but not an amount that I would resent.
After my break up I went away for a job for 3 weeks and I got back to find that she was no longer speaking to me and that she had a boyfriend and had moved in with him. Her texts while I was away had trailed off, but I thought it was okay or that she was upset that I had gone away and I resolved to try to see her a bit more when I got back. I was in shock at first and then very confused. I tried a number of things: making more effort, giving her space, asking if she was okay, asking if I had done anything. All were met with either silence, or very formal replies to my texts with "regards," at the end instead of the usual "lots of love xxx" etc.
After about a month I was very upset about it all, as not only had I been dealing with leaving my ex, I had lost her too. She and her boyfriend got engaged very quickly (I heard from mutual friends) and they didn't invite me to the wedding. On the FB photos I saw of the event, my ex was pride of place on the top table. My ex who she professed to hate and had advised me to leave! I enquired with one of our mutual friends what I could have done and I also contacted her sister, asking if either of them knew what had happened or what I could do to rectify things. They both replied and said that they thought she had to "get over it" but neither told me what "it" was.
I eventually moved to a different town without ever being able to have a conversation with her. I met my now-dh and got married. I invited her to the wedding but she didn't respond to the invitation.
It is four years later now. I work in a place where we do a lot of outsourcing to sole traders who come in for set hours per week. And guess who has started to come in?! When I see her - even when we are sitting on opposite desks - she completely and totally ignores me. She doesn't have eye contact and she doesn't say a word. We have not yet been asked to interact by my boss, so that situation has not arisen yet, but I am at a total loss as to how to behave now and when we do.
What would you do? What would you say? Some days I feel like shaking her, and others I just feel like laughing at how pathetic it all is.
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Relationships
dealing with ex-best friend who refuses to speak to me
clingclangclong · 29/03/2016 23:02
Gosh, my heartrate went right up reading your op. Gruesome.
She sounds personality-disordered. Initially I would have said she was treating you like a partner when you were close - almost having an emotional affair with you? The fact she got engaged very quickly to her now-H indicates she goes from 0-60 in a minute. So, not balanced. Once she had her partner you no longer existed. I'm sorry.
As for your ex at the top table - darling, you have been horribly betrayed. There's no coming back from that. Please, cut her right out of your life. When she acts like you aren't there, you do likewise. She is not, and probably never has been, your friend. She is treacherous., at least, but there appears to be some kind of disorder pumping away with her.
But 'she' got you through a bad time so look at it that something good came of it at the time. Just not longstanding. Live and learn...
Something similar has recently happened to me. A young guy, who thought I was the best thing on the planet. Flattering! Not romantic at all - we connected on an intellectual/creative level. Then suddenly the lights went right out and he could barely focus when we were together. His new wife warned me he goes from hot to cold at the flick of a switch. He's a sweet guy but omg that was destabilising for me - I thought we'd be friends for life. You probably thought the same. Not so in both our cases.
Dust yourself off. She's not worth it 
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Some of the replies on here 
. Op is hardly stalking her. I would want to know why I was cast aside and would be wondering what lies had been said about me.
They're both as bad as each other op.
Fuck them both.
Oh blimey, what a horrible scenario. She sounds like a fruit loop, tbh. Do you think she was advising you to leave your Ex, because she wanted a crack at him? That didn't work, but she hooked up with his mate instead?
My "best friend" of about 5 years, coached me through a separation from first H. Turns out she was shagging him. Some people just have no morals. They are wolves in sheep's clothing. After this happened, I dreaded the thought of bumping in to her in a supermarket or something, I was just so mortified at the betrayal. Thankfully, I have now remarried and moved towns, so I no longer have that dread of seeing her. I cannot imagine sitting opposite her at work! The very thought makes me feel sick. Can you ask to be moved? Tell your boss you can't work near her. That's what I'd do.
I'm glad you have remarried and are now happy.
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