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Are crushes healthy?

(12 Posts)
RebeccaRHY1 Tue 29-Mar-16 22:36:38

Crushes! Just wondered if anyone wanted to share their experiences. Are they healthy or not!? Have you had an inappropriate one!?
Who youve crushed on? How you managed to stay faithful or did you not?!

C0C0 Wed 30-Mar-16 01:10:20

Um yes I have had a crush on my DPs brother (!) which I think was mutual as he has gently touched me on the ear/cheek and lower back before years ago in a flirty manner. Not appropriate at all. I generally avoid him by avoiding family gatherings if I know he will be there and nothing has happened although quite intense feelings at times.

Crushes are just crushes - often on unobtainable people. I think in reality its normal in a lot of long term relationships and ok as long as you don't act on it!! If you cannot resist acting on the crush then end it with your current partner first.

I did leave an exBF for a crush when I was young and it did not work out with the crush - the reality was not like the fantasy - so think carefully!

goddessofsmallthings Wed 30-Mar-16 02:44:31

I think crushes are physically healthy in that they get the blood rushing round the body, but they can exact an emotional toll if they're acted on in way which has the potential to cause harm to others.

My experience of them is that they're shortlived but delicious while they last as there's nothing like feeling weak-kneed in the presence of beauty. smile

jellyjiggles Wed 30-Mar-16 03:48:55

Very normal to have a crush on someone. Not harmful as long as managed well and not acted on if either party is spoken for.

Enjoy the buzz and use the energy positively.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Wed 30-Mar-16 04:00:18

I think it's only normal to find other people attractive, even if you're in a monogamous relationship. I'd imagine it happens at some point for most coupled people.

Just, don't do anything about it if you want to stay in your relationship.

Nellythekneenibbler Wed 30-Mar-16 05:25:09

hmm journo

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon Wed 30-Mar-16 06:11:44

You sound like you're writing a shit magazine article

TheNaze73 Wed 30-Mar-16 07:13:48

I think they're perfectly normal, healthy & quite amusing. If either party is unavailable & no lines are crossed, I see nothing wrong with them

RebeccaRHY1 Wed 30-Mar-16 09:26:08

have a very inappropriote crush myself im married with three children. Hes married with 3 children its a no go zone! Which only makes me want him more

TheNaze73 Wed 30-Mar-16 10:14:04

Just don't go there!

nearlyovertherainbow Wed 30-Mar-16 15:12:18

Personally no, I don't think they are healthy. I think there's a massive difference between finding someone attractive, interesting, funny etc (what I would call a little crush) and actually full on fancying and desiring someone else, which seems to be more what people are describing here. How can that be healthy in a relationship? Unless it's an open one of course.

You have to ask yourself this- if your dp had the same feelings as you for someone else, how would you feel? My guess is very upset. You can't always help your feelings, but you can avoid temptation, until hopefully the feelings subside. Or, you're with the wrong person, in which case, leave, before anyone gets hurt.

RebeccaRHY1 Wed 30-Mar-16 15:28:10

I definitely wont be going there i barely know the man.. And we are both taken! Hes much older than me And theres children involved so id never jeopardise that. But We go to the same unavoidable places, i see him regularly tho i am well aware its a no go zone! And my fantasy of him is probably far from the reality. Its not even that i think hes funny or attractive. I find it quite odd that im fancying him as he isnt the kind of man who i would normally be attracted to. I think maybe i see qualities in him that my oh is lacking right now. And thats what is driving it. But the lustful feelings are crazy!! I cant help feeling those

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