So I've backed and forth with dh for a while now about separation. We both know it's the only way things can go as it will never work but yet we kept trying.
The last few days have gone like this:
(We were in a semi sort of separated state but still living together)
Saturday: let's give it another, proper try. Both will seek help independently and he will try to be more considerate of me.
Sunday : life as normal.
Monday (our wedding anniversary) went out for lunch and took DC to a play park.
Today: huge row.
He has stated the following:
- I want everything my own way. (This is towards anything I say. He doesn't think my approach to an issue is correct but has no alternative solution to offer)
- I bully Dd (3.8) by giving her this rule or that rule. I am only interested in controlling everyone.
- I have not been fulfilling my 'duty' to him as his wife - read: we don't have much sex. (Btw, I asked if I had a duty to put out when he wants does he have the same duty to me and he says no)
- I am stupid and lazy for not working, and being a full time mum to 2 under 4, whilst doing a degree course so WE could have a better life instead of getting a minimum wage shelf stacking job.
I know. Lucky escape!!!
But yet I'm still sad. I didn't want it to end this way. I didn't want it to end. But it has.
He is so angry. He isn't English, so we have a culture clash.
The sex thing came up like this
'I will have to a bastard and go cheat on you cos you don't do your duty to me!'
Me: ' what duty? You surely don't mean sex? I am supposed to perform whenever you desire is that what you mean?'
Him 'I don't have to always go inside you but yes, you are my wife and it is your duty!'
I was left like this
Right now I think I'm a bit stunned, and a bit numb cos we have been back and forth on this for like 4 months now so it sort of doesn't feel entirely real.
Feel like I'm trying to run through treacle.
It's just so strange that you can marry and have 2 kids with someone and realise you hardly know anything about them really
