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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support. as a mother of three!?

(11 Posts)
BlondieLoxie Tue 29-Mar-16 00:49:23

I've had ups downs, generally been in bad relationships and screwed up the good ones singlehandedly. Been through therapy and finally in a good place!

I want to date again. But, just how is that possible with three kids? I only have child free time every other weekend. Realistically, would a man put up with this? Would they entertain the idea of dating that infrequent? How do single parents build new relationship with so little 'free' time?

Also, online dating. How long to persevere? No one seems genuine!

Lorrylee Tue 29-Mar-16 07:22:01

OLD just keep persevering, my current man was no.13 Can't offer any help regarding dc's sorry. My two are late teens.

nomorechocolate2016 Tue 29-Mar-16 07:27:23

No advice here as I have given up. I found it too difficult to find time to meet up with guys and I kept cancelling and messing people around because of my commitments with the dc. I have less child-free time than you mind.
If I had every other weekend I would go for it.

To be fair over three years I did meet a few guys who were very understanding about working around my dc and didn't seem to mind at all. It was me who found it stressful.

Patheticfallacy Tue 29-Mar-16 08:03:11

I'm a mother of 3 with every other weekend free and I met my partner of one year online. It's not easy but it is doable.

Zebratwo Tue 29-Mar-16 08:12:22

It is hard work that's for sure. Not every bloke wants a serious relationship. The problem I found is that you can end up being one of a couple/few that they have on the go! This happened to me. I don't do it anymore. Found it soul destroying. I just focus on the kids now and will pick this back up when they are a bit older and less dependant.

niceupthedance Tue 29-Mar-16 09:05:00

With current boyfriend I sent DS over to my friend for a few hours and our first date was Sunday lunch. You have to get creative. When I knew it was going in a serious direction, he'd come over when DS was asleep, cook me dinner then leave... It was a 3 hour round trip for him. The ones who just want to get laid will be the ones who can't be arsed to work around your free time.

I did online dating for two years. It was pretty grim. Boyfriend was number 9.

nomorechocolate2016 Tue 29-Mar-16 09:08:25

I did find that a lot of blokes were more than happy to meet the kids straight away so they could stay over and get a shag confused. Some would put a lot of pressure on. That's why I'm on a break. Good on you if you find someone not pushing for that too soon.

StillDrSethHazlittMD Tue 29-Mar-16 09:09:35

I have to say, in my experience, people in their 30s and 40s who have kids seem to do a lot better in the dating stakes than single people in that age.

YouMakeMyDreams Tue 29-Mar-16 09:25:00

I have three dc and met dh when they were quite small. It is hard. I did have the chance for the odd night in the week too so wasn't restricted to eow all the time. A good guy will understand though. Like I said mine were quite small and dh would come over for a coffee some evenings after they were in bed too. He did also come over and meet the dc reasonably early on but that was a night I had visitors and a barbecue so was a friends over thing so he was just there rather than mums new bf meeting them.
Some guys did just want a shag, some were super keen to meet the dc early on so they could get one. They clearly weren't keepers. Dh was keen to take things slow so it suited us both being time restricted and we spent lots of time getting to know each other.

TheNaze73 Tue 29-Mar-16 09:52:56

The right bloke would be understanding & totally accept your circumstances. My gf has 3 children & I have 2. We've always said, children come first. It's a real blessing to our relationship that she has her children as I think a potential partner without children, wouldn't be as understanding to the circumstances. I dated a childless woman before, who really didn't get it & was threatened by my children & almost trying to compete. She was soon binned off. I think it'll be tough but, the right person will "get" the circumstances & if a potential new relationship is meant to be, it's meant to be. Best of luck.

Seeyounearertime Tue 29-Mar-16 09:59:11

My GF has 2 kids from previous, when we first got together i could only see her when her ex had the kids, it was fine. TBH I'm a grown man (honest ner ner) and i understood that she had higher commitments than any she may have had to me.

It's relatively simple, If a man likes you and wants a relationship with you then he has to accept you have kids and will have to play it by your time line and no one elses. this includes not moaning, not pressuring etc.

Also, time apart can be great, text chats, emails, flirting ; )
Time apart doesn't have to be time alone iyswim.

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