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Money problem

(29 Posts)
Justwhattodo Mon 28-Mar-16 16:16:04

Dc went on holiday with family last week, I have dh £70 to give family member for dc spending money, family member text saying they told dh to keep the money but thanks for the offer etc it's been 4 days and dh has never mentioned it nor have I seen the money, I didn't say anything at the time because I thought he might of just forgot but he's been in his wallet for shopping petrol etc and hasn't said a word to me, I don't want to look like I'm accusing him but dunno what to do?

littleleftie Mon 28-Mar-16 16:17:59

I don't understand? Why is this a problem? Are you and DH separated?

Justwhattodo Mon 28-Mar-16 16:19:10

No it was money out of dc's money box that we keep for things we need for dc

littleleftie Mon 28-Mar-16 16:20:35

So it was the DCs money?

In that case, it should be put back in their money boxes, yes.

Abed Mon 28-Mar-16 16:27:12

Does DH know that it was from DC's moneybox?

Justwhattodo Mon 28-Mar-16 16:34:02

Yes he saw me take it out, even if it wasn't and was the other way round I would of given it straight back. We don't have a joint account, yes of course we share our money if it was £10 or something out of my account I would of just said ah keep it but not £70 I don't understand what he's spent it on

Maturecheddarcheese Mon 28-Mar-16 16:37:16

Is this unusual or is he a bit sneaky with other things? Is he absent minded and just completely forgot about it? Why can't you ask him outright?

Cabrinha Mon 28-Mar-16 16:38:09

Is there a back story?
If not, I'd just say "I had a text from X - that was so nice of them to refuse the money and treat the kids, wasn't it? Now we'll have it for a treat next <holiday>"

Cabrinha Mon 28-Mar-16 16:39:27

And in my relationship, that wouldn't be a soft way to bring it up, either - I wouldn't suspect my boyfriend of stealing from kids in a million years.

Abed Mon 28-Mar-16 16:42:53

What makes you think he has spent it?

llhj Mon 28-Mar-16 16:44:26

Just ask? Don't get the big deal.

Justwhattodo Mon 28-Mar-16 16:45:40

He's lied to me before about money, I think he's generally just terrible with money I suppose I'll just have the ask him where it is cause it's not in the box

ilovevegcrisps Mon 28-Mar-16 16:46:38

I don't get why it's NOT a big deal! If I gave someone £70 for a specific purpose and that £70 wasn't needed and they didn't give it straight back to me I'd be confused and a bit upset.

Op I do agree you need to confront him about this though.

Shakey15000 Mon 28-Mar-16 16:46:53

Yep, just ask him.

dementedpixie Mon 28-Mar-16 16:47:02

Just say 'oh x said they were treating Dc, wasn't that kind? did you remember to put the money back in the money box Or will I do it for you'

Ginmakesitallok Mon 28-Mar-16 16:48:07

I'd think nothing of just saying to dp "have you put that £70 back yet?".

Justwhattodo Mon 28-Mar-16 16:48:13

Once £500 went missing I still have no idea where it went he said he spent it on us, also he's lied about credit cards he had etc we have been together a long time and married a few year dc is his but this money isn't his it's off family!

Justwhattodo Mon 28-Mar-16 16:49:14

Yes I will say it to him tomorrow because he's away with work tonight, I just sort of felt awkward like I've left it to late

Maturecheddarcheese Mon 28-Mar-16 16:57:40

That is difficult then, he has form for it and you've lost trust in him because he's gaslighted you in the past. It's pretty low taking money from kids isn't it?

Justwhattodo Mon 28-Mar-16 17:04:36

I see his bank statements etc so I know nothing is coming out of there etc I just really don't get this I'm worried I might ask he might say he gave it to the family member then I might look like I was checking up on him which was most definitely not the case!

Maturecheddarcheese Mon 28-Mar-16 17:09:55

But you are checking up on him because you don't trust him aren't you? Why not just ask directly what happened to the £70? He may say he gave it to the relative (which you will know is a lie) or he may say he spent it on something else etc. What if he lies, what then?

YabuDabbaDoo Mon 28-Mar-16 17:12:13

Is the £70 back in the money box? Have you checked ?

Justwhattodo Mon 28-Mar-16 17:16:31

No I'm not checking up he leaves his bank statement lying around and announces things like 'oh look at my bank statement how I'm in credit' etc because he knows I was so annoyed when he did lie. No I've checked its not there!!!

Justwhattodo Mon 28-Mar-16 17:17:21

And the family member told me not the other way around

BIWI Mon 28-Mar-16 17:21:23

What you say is:

"Oh, by the way, I forgot to say - had a text from [family friend] and they said they weren't going to take that £70 from us. That's nice isn't it? Can you let me have it back so I can put it back in DCs money box?"

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