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I think I'm being really silly but can't stop

(11 Posts)
NorfolkEnchantsToday Sat 26-Mar-16 13:50:02

I've been single for four years, tried online dating:
I met a man at work (I'm agency), he asked me out.
Very intelligent man, well educated, good plans going forward.

He turned up with huge box of chocolates v expensive, we went for dinner which I found awkward but nice.

The problem is I've been single so long that I don't know what I want.

The other thing is he is foreign, and I'm worried about culture differences, and mainly what people will think.
I think the above is clouding my vision on whether I'm finding him attractive,

I feel really silly, really judgemental, critical of myself and I'm ready to say no mainly because of what people will think.

I've been single so long and met so many idiots, this guy comes along and I'm all on a tizz.

I don't know why I'm posting, maybe for a roasting to make me see sense!

Chocolatteaddict1 Sat 26-Mar-16 13:52:03

Do you fancy him?

It really is as basic as that.

If you do, go on another date and just take each day as it comes. You should know by second date if you like him or not.

NorfolkEnchantsToday Sat 26-Mar-16 14:01:38

And I won't b leading him on?
On paper it's what I'm after!

Chocolatteaddict1 Sat 26-Mar-16 14:38:05

No, in fact I thought Dh was a heavy drinker on our first date and it put me off him a little. I said yes to another date (to give him one last chance) and it turns out it was Dutch courage and he rarely drinks! The second date was the date that made me think "actually your ok, I'd go on another date".

But even though on paper he looks amazing you still have to have a bit of a spark there as ultimately you fill be eventually entering in to a sexual relationship with him.

pippistrelle Sat 26-Mar-16 14:42:27

What chocolatte says is right, but I think I'd make it even more basic at this stage - do you enjoy spending time with him?

If so, carry on!

NorfolkEnchantsToday Sat 26-Mar-16 14:44:41

Thank you ladies this has really helped

Cabrinha Sat 26-Mar-16 15:51:06

Your main issue appears to be what people will think, and that seems to be only about his being a different nationality (race, religion?)
What's the actual issue that is bothering you here?
Why do you care what other people think?
Why do you even think it's remarkable (as in literally, something to be remarked upon) when two people from different countries date? (are you from Royston Vasey?!)

loveyoutothemoon Sat 26-Mar-16 16:36:46

If you fancy him go ahead!

NorfolkEnchantsToday Sat 26-Mar-16 17:01:46

Exactly Cabrina, I honestly don't know why I care what people think!

pocketsaviour Sat 26-Mar-16 19:49:12

The time to worry about "cultural differences" is when you're far enough along that you're exclusively dating, and you start to have the conversation about Our Future. That's when you find out his attitudes to child-raising, his parents, religion, A Woman's Place, etc.

When you say you're worried about what people might think, do you mean your family, by any chance?

NorfolkEnchantsToday Sat 26-Mar-16 20:07:57

I do indeed, particularly my father who is very well shall we say set in his ways

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