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Do I have a right to be raging mad?

(22 Posts)
Suspect Fri 25-Mar-16 20:15:49

My cousin (over from abroad) only arrived yesterday. Staying with my SIL & brother. We are all close and speak all the time. I go round SIL to meet up with cousin and have a cup of tea. I ask them what they are doing tonight, thinking they are having a quiet evening in. They are Infact going out for dinner with SIL's sister and haven't invited me.
I'm absolutely raging. Would you be also? Might seem minor but I'm perplexed at being excluded

NoCapes Fri 25-Mar-16 20:18:23


PennyHasNoSurname Fri 25-Mar-16 20:19:11

Your cousin is being taken to dinner by her hosts.

Calm the fuck down dear.

NewNameNotTheSame Fri 25-Mar-16 20:20:13

Not even the hosts, the hosts sister.

Chill out, invite them out yourself.

pocketsaviour Fri 25-Mar-16 20:21:06

You always have the right to your emotions.

However, being "raging" that your cousins are socialising with someone other than you is disproportionate.

magpie17 Fri 25-Mar-16 20:21:32

'Raging mad'? Eh, no.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Fri 25-Mar-16 21:26:13

Perhaps you are being excluded.

If you are raging over them having dinner without you, then maybe you are a nightmare relative.

I will keep an eye out for SIL and cousin's threads.

springydaffs Fri 25-Mar-16 21:42:45

Could you clarify who cousin is going out to dinner with?

Is it with your SIL'S sister?

Or is it with your SIL, your brother, plus SIL'S sister?

If the latter yanbu. If the former there may be a romance on you hadn't noticed - therefore yabu.

Hurtful though flowers

SoThatHappened Fri 25-Mar-16 21:45:22

Cousin arrived yesterday, you've been over for tea already today so where is the issue.

do you want to move in too? Or if you wanted to hog the cousin why didnt you offer to put them up?

ImperialBlether Fri 25-Mar-16 21:48:12

Why can't you just say, "Ooh can I come?"?

HeddaGarbled Fri 25-Mar-16 21:48:49

It would be reasonable to be disappointed and a bit hurt but not reasonable to be raging.

Interesting that you refer to your brother's home as your SIL's and that you say that your cousin is staying with your SIL & brother where most people would have said staying with your brother and possible added SIL after that.

This is something to do with your relationship with your SIL isn't it?

goddessofsmallthings Fri 25-Mar-16 21:49:26

Is there a reason why your cousin isn't staying with you and how long will your cousin be in the UK?

Maybe your db and his dw are taking his cousin out to dinner for the sole purpose of meeting or catching up with your sil's sister and feel that having too many direct relatives present will spoil ,the broth, so to speak.

If you're all as 'close' as you claim to be and if you rarely get to see your cousin, I'm surprised that an itinerary wasn't worked out between you all before they arrived.

springydaffs Fri 25-Mar-16 21:56:25

You've had some rough responses here op [note: we're not in aibu, folks. Though I genuinely thought we were bcs of the responses! Kind ok?]

I think posters are responding unfavourably to the 'raging mad' bit. If you had said eg 'i'm so hurt' you would possibly have had kinder responses. Not that there's any excuse for these horrible responses imo.

That said, it's not unusual to feel extreme anger when we feel extremely hurt. flowers

SoThatHappened Fri 25-Mar-16 21:58:16

I'm sure you will see loads of your cousin and you'll go out just with them too.

springydaffs Sat 26-Mar-16 00:16:47

Yes but that won't erase that op has been left out of the first bash.

As for where cousin is staying: they can't be two places at once confused

BubblingUp Sat 26-Mar-16 00:28:43

Yes, I would be upset. Why isn't a family thing "the more the merrier" when you have someone visiting from abroad? Why be exclusive? Or maybe they were issued the invitation from the SIL's sister and not in a position to add guests?

SilverBirchWithout Sat 26-Mar-16 00:38:08

There must be something more to this to make you angry?

Had the visit been planned a long time or was it just a surprise visit by cousin? It sounds to me like SIL and her SIS had organised a meal out and because her DH's cousin was staying they included him/her in the invitation. I'm not quite sure why you think you should have been includes.

How long is cousin staying? Could you take them out yourself for a meal on another evening?

LosingTheWillToSkate Sat 26-Mar-16 00:57:45

It seems very OTT to be raging over something like this. Do you invite your entire family to everything you do??

Is it not rather normal to do more with your hosts than with other people when you're a guest? Is it not also likely that they had existing plans with the sisteroof, to which an invite has been extended to your cousin as the guest of your brother and his wife?

ClarenceTheLion Sat 26-Mar-16 01:25:01

Stop raging, and make a note to call them tomorrow and invite them out for dinner. Done.

IHaveBrilloHair Sat 26-Mar-16 01:29:59

I've a feeling I know why you weren't invited....

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 26-Mar-16 01:31:10

I don't understand the problem?

Sofiathefirst2016 Sat 26-Mar-16 12:17:21

Not like they was being secretive too purposely exclude you. They told you what they was doing. I'm sure your cousin will get round to doing something with you. Remember it's not just you she's got to catch up with!

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