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Have I fallen out of love? Or I'm just being stupid?

(9 Posts)
MissMarvoloRiddle Fri 25-Mar-16 16:42:03

I'm not sure where to start as I'm very confused and torn though I don't want to out myself. DP and I have been together for 6 years, our first DC was born in December 2014 and I feel like something has massively changed with me. I have no interest in sex what so ever with my DP, I never initiate it and don't particularly enjoy it, it feels like a chore. I'm not affectionate anymore and don't enjoy kissing or even being kissed. That's not to say I'm not pleasant, we still laugh and joke I just don't particularly seek affection. I remember when we first got together, I'd get butterflies and enjoy kissing him so much and we actually had a sex life that I enjoyed. I know things change after having a child but this is a year and a half later and I'm still feeling this way.

At first I thought it had something to do with getting the implant in my arm as a form of contraception as I've been told it can affect your libido but now I'm not sure. He still initiates sex, is still affectionate and sweet and caring but I think he's become my best friend and I'm so comfortable in the routine we have I can't tear apart the routine from a real romantic relationship. I don't know if I've fallen out of love with him or if I'm not attracted to him anymore but the thought of losing him (our maybe just losing what we have?) hurts me deeply but I don't know what to do. A friend thinks I'm simply 'settling' for him but I just really need some outside prospective on whether this is normal or not? Please help? sad

Backtoblackcoffee Fri 25-Mar-16 17:24:10

I would say it's the implant, discuss alternatives with your GP.

seasideview Fri 25-Mar-16 17:25:09

Yeh, get rid of the implant. This isn't right at all.

ivykaty44 Fri 25-Mar-16 17:26:54

I would suggest getting another type of contraception

FellOutOfBedTwice Fri 25-Mar-16 17:36:35

Are you breast feeding OP? Breast feeding has killed my libedo. Since DD started eating food it's picked up a bit (about 14 months now) but the first six months when I was exclusively breastfeeding I not only bad no desire but was physically very unresponsive. I couldn't even make myself orgasm with my vibrator a lot of the time. If you're breastfeeding AND have the implant there's a good chance this is the issue.

Also, I know that I find being touched often quite irritating when I'm not in the mood because I'm so "touched out" by DD clambering all over me, constantly needing me for physical comfort. When she's gone to bed TBH I don't want to be touched by someone else. I have to really be in the mood and work up to even a cuddle with DH at times. I have no doubt that I still love and fancy him a lot- when DD is at my parents for the night it all comes flooding back, so I know a lot of it is psychological and to do with the demands of motherhood.

sarahlou75 Fri 25-Mar-16 17:41:34

I've gone hormone free for contraception as it kills my libido deader than a dodo!!

Don't make a huge decision on your future without removing your

Also does your DP share household chores etc?

StopShoutingAtYourBrother Fri 25-Mar-16 17:47:19

I can't take any hormonal contraception in any form for the reasons you've outlined OP. Totally shuts down my sex drive and need for physical affection. Get rid of your implant and wait a few months before you make this kind of decision. You might find you feel differently once it's out. I know I do.

sarahlou75 Fri 25-Mar-16 17:47:48

Sorry interrupted by my 5yr old DD telling me she has dropped orange juice all over her aqua beads! shock
What I mean is you're unlikely to feel romantically inclined if your doing the lions share of the child rearing and housework.

Instead sex can feel like another thing you need to do for him rather than an enjoyable thing.

Lottie2611 Fri 25-Mar-16 18:20:00

I felt exactly the same. Get rid of the implant. It's awful

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