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Hurt and Confused

(15 Posts)
bouquetdiva Fri 25-Mar-16 09:41:58

Looking for some honest advice please.

After 2 lengthy emotionally abusive relationships with men who had quite dominant and similar personalities, I started OLD and began talking to a man just after Xmas. We live some distance apart and work different patterns, so getting together was difficult, but we met 5 or 6 times. I felt that things were going too slowly, as I was used to someone being around most of the time and said to him that I thought we were not gaining ground and was not sure it could work. He replied that he did not want to give up on things and felt that we were on the brink of something special and asked me to go away with him for a a couple of nights, which we did, last weekend. We were both nervous, as by that point we had not even kissed! I had taken down my profile but his is still on there (I can see it without logging on)

Anyway, off we went and he was absolutely lovely. We got on well and I realised what a great kind guy he is. By the end of the weekend, my heart was fluttering and was liking him more and more. We did not have sex as it was the wrong time of the month but we did kiss and cuddle and he said that there is no rush. He insisted on paying for the hotel and we were holding hands on the way back.

He said to let him know I got home safely and I sent a short text saying I had really enjoyed the weekend and was home and he replied to say that he had been out and eaten again.

Since then, nothing. I texted yesterday, a jokey message and no reply. So I guess he did not feel the same as me. I am upset and find it hard to reconcile the great caring guy with someone who ignores a text and leaves me wondering where I went wrong!

I am not sure what I am asking really but any advice would be appreciated.

abbsismyhero Fri 25-Mar-16 09:52:32

read the dating threads on here this is common unfortunately OLD is full of wankers the guy i was chatting to? turned out to be married fortunately i found out fast (before anything apart from messaging happened) but you have my sympathies

bouquetdiva Fri 25-Mar-16 09:59:07

Thanks - I do lurk on the dating threads! He seemed genuine - we met at his home and I have his land line number ........

Summerlovinf Fri 25-Mar-16 09:59:17

He's not interested for whatever reason but likely to be something in his life as much as anything to do with you.

bouquetdiva Fri 25-Mar-16 10:01:27

I think you are right, he is probably speaking or seeing someone else he has met on line.

MrsSteptoe Fri 25-Mar-16 10:09:06

Or, watch out for him getting in touch and being a bit disingenuously mystified that he "can't be busy for a few days without getting in touch - after all, I'm sure you have things you need to do as well". I have dated this man seen this movie. If he gets in touch again, make sure he isn't one of those blokes that wants to treat their GF like an evening class, which they can get out of the cupboard when they feel like it and put away when they want to do other things (terrible mixed metaphor, I know, CBA to fix it).

bouquetdiva Fri 25-Mar-16 10:17:30

I have let my emotions run away with me too soon ..... it feels like everyone else slips into a relationship so easily but I have had years of ups and downs. I feel there is something wrong with me!

abbsismyhero Fri 25-Mar-16 19:06:21

you're not alone seriously i got hung up on this guy who was flirting his arse off with me then he suddenly decided he wanted to back off way off but occasionally he gets close again makes me feel like a yo yo to be honest but i only see him once a week for my work experience fortunately fingers crossed i get a real job soon and i won't have to see him again

i blame being involved with an E/A relationship i don't get signals like most people although he was definitely flirting with me argh!!! i give up trying to explain men

bouquetdiva Fri 25-Mar-16 19:41:07

What is wrong with them? It makes us question our judgement ....... cowardly of him not to let me know if he has changed his mind! It must be hard for you to keep away if you see him once a week.

pocketsaviour Fri 25-Mar-16 20:25:59

How many days since he texted you?

bouquetdiva Fri 25-Mar-16 20:39:28

I texted him on Sunday to let him know I had got home safely and he replied. I heard nothing so texted him yesterday morning and he has not answered me.

bouquetdiva Fri 25-Mar-16 20:43:17

During the weekend he went all out to make it special, arranging everything including prosecco for our room. I am wondering if I did not show enough warmth afterwards and that perhaps I should have sent texts myself instead of waiting for him? I have been so hurt in the past that I do hold back a lot.

bouquetdiva Fri 25-Mar-16 20:46:12

I am sorry this is so trivial compared to some of the problems on here right now, but I am finding it hard. I was pleased to meet someone decent and feel that I have messed up.

cupcakesandwine Fri 25-Mar-16 21:03:33

It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong at all and I think you have to accept that you can't control his feelings.

I'm sure he did like you and enjoy your company, but it is very likely that he is also seeing other women. Just try and look on it as you had a nice weekend with some flattering attention, but that's all it was and don't try and make it more.

Time to put your profile back up!

bouquetdiva Fri 25-Mar-16 21:15:14

Good idea - I will do that tomorrow! Thanks smile

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