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husband changed since pregnancy

(10 Posts)
Carrah12 Fri 25-Mar-16 01:26:04

Hello, I am hoping to hear from any of you that have significant stress in pregnancy and everything turned out ok. I am now stressed about being stressed and think this would help me.

Essentially my husband has become very nasty since this pregnancy although it was planned. I am now 33 weeks and think the last few months have been the worst of my life. For the sake of my baby I have tried my absolute best to be calm and have only had a few short outbursts if losing it - either anger/and or crying.

I am more worried about the chronic nature of my stress where he has said something horrible to me and I am laying in bed trying to sleep/relax but inside I feel frantic and distraught, my heart racing etc I am totally exhausted from it.

I realise I may have a long term problem if my relationship does not improve but for the moment I am trying to help myself stop panicking that all this inner upset has permanently harmed by precious baby.

sarahlou75 Fri 25-Mar-16 21:00:48

Bumping thread

SexNamesRFab Fri 25-Mar-16 21:05:21

Sorry you're going through this OP. Can you arrange to speak to your midwife? It's a sad fact that some men can begin to/ escalate abuse towards their partners during pregnancy.

SeaCabbage Fri 25-Mar-16 21:09:56

Can you tell us a bit more about what he was like before you got pregnant and what kind of abusive things he does now?

Carrah12 Fri 25-Mar-16 21:39:30

Hi there thanks for your replies. Basically he has always had a lovely side and a mean streak but the lovely side seems to have gone since this planned pregnancy. Essentially he is very angry/explosive a lot of the time. He has never threatened me but I do feel afraid of him sometimes as he finds it very difficult to calm himself down. My heart then races as I try to carry on and I worry how this will affect the baby.

Backtoblackcoffee Fri 25-Mar-16 21:48:52

The good thing is you have identified his behaviour is not good.
Do you have anyone you could stay with to get a break?

BertieBotts Fri 25-Mar-16 21:52:05

Baby will be just fine. Please don't add to your stress by worrying about that. Honestly. I mean if you think of how hormones affect women reacting to perfectly normal things in pregnancy! smile

His behaviour towards you and the immediate danger is much more worrying/concerning. Did you know that it's very common for abuse in a relationship to begin during pregnancy? I understand this might seem extreme, but just theoretically - if it came down to it, do you have somewhere you could go if you needed/wanted to leave?

Dragongirl10 Fri 25-Mar-16 22:07:56

Hi op,

Please do not worry your baby should be fine...l had a very stressful pregnancy moving countries, ill health, Dh working away was fine.

However the issue of your Husband is not fine, please consider where you can go to get away from him...without wanting to scare you this is not looking good, if l were in your shoes l would try and stay with family/ good friends till dc is born, then insist on joint counselling after.

Do you have any support?

Jelliebabe1 Fri 25-Mar-16 22:26:29

Have you spoken to him at all about how his behaviour is affecting you?

ImperialBlether Fri 25-Mar-16 22:28:38

You really need to speak to your midwife about this. They are used to dealing with this sort of thing and should be able to give you some good advice about what to do.

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