Worst chat up lines ever!

[Backtoblackcoffee]

Ok here it is - I will go first - I was 18 in a club, the guy comes up to me and says 'did it hurt' and I said what? He says 'when you fell from heaven' ... a golden oldy that one

[Buzzardbird]

Think you might have posted in wrong topic?

[Danglyweed]

My fannies as wet as an otters pocket!!!

[Buzzardbird]

How many have you got Dangly?

[Pancakeflipper]

Is your dad a magician?

Cos he sure conjured up something magical when he created you.


I didn't date him.

[CrazyDuchess]

"The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice"



For context, I was 16 at the time......

[Backtoblackcoffee]

Crazydutchess. Arggh that's terrible

[BrienneofQarth]

'I don't know why, but I find you really attractive!' Oddly enough, that wasn't the way to get in to my pants.

[TreeHuggerMum1]

Do you spit or do you swallow?!
He's now my husband

[CrazyDuchess]

I can still picture it clear as day

[IamHappy1976]

"How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

"Unfertilised. Go away".

[ILikeUranus]

I've had:

Him: 'You're the best looking girl I've ever seen in real life. Seriously, you're the most attractive one in here'
Me: 'Er, ok. What about her?'
Him: 'Oh yeah, apart from her'
Me: 'Yeah, thanks' but NO thanks!

[wonderingsoul]

Dp said this to me on our first date, sat In a pub in a corner table.

Him- I can read palms. I could read yours if you like.

Me-ok.. let him take my hand

Him- takes my hand... I can't really read palms I just wanted to hold your hand.

It was soooo cheesy and bad but it worked.

[Backtoblackcoffee]

A recent one - can I touch your hair - touches hair - it's softer than my beard - o ok then

[HelenaDove]

"Every time i see you i think Cor i want a bit of that" Said to me by someone i dated briefly but never slept with for a few weeks 26 years ago when i bumped into him recently.

[Notasinglefuckwasgiven]

" Get rid of your boyfriend and I'd do you over"
I was 14, he was at least 29 and I ran out of the house like the fucking wind.

[Horsemad]

Him: 'Have you got any Geordie in you?'

Me: 'No'

Him: 'Would you like some?'

Did make me

[Anniegetyourgun]

Around 100 years ago, when I was young, a friend dragged me into a disco and we bopped around for a bit before sitting down for a drink. A young man at an adjacent table addressed me.

"Do you have the time?" he asked.

"7:30," I responded, having consulted my watch.

"No no, do you have the time?" he said more insistently.

"Half-past seven," I said more clearly.

One more round of this, then I appealed to the lad's companion. "Is your friend foreign? Does he not know English very well?"

"No," he said, amused, "it's a chat-up line. He says do you have the time and you're supposed to say something like if you have the inclination. He really wants to ask you to dance."

"Why not just ask me to dance then?" I asked, confused.

"Oh, ok. Would you like to dance?"

"No."

My friend said afterwards that she didn't know why I had turned him down as he was "gorgeous". I said he seemed a bit of an idiot.

[TheNaze73]

A girl once said to me "Your face would look so much better, if I say on it". Did make me laugh

[redannie118]

Him-"Would you like a drink?"
Me- "No thanks im married "
Him "Oh thats ok, so am I !"