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There's more to life than this???

(10 Posts)
Prettylittleliar99 Sun 20-Mar-16 15:34:40

Bit of a rant, I so need to vent. Im early 30s not working currently (although I am a pt student) I have a teen with moderate asd, and tbh life is hell. Not sure what's going to happen financially with the benefit cuts, currently live In a poor area (local auth housing) and also currently single. I feel absolutely bloody stuck. My daughter has few friends as do I, I have one friend and he currently can't do an awful lot due to a limiting medical condition, so I can't see him that much but without him I'd go mad as he does support me. My X partner is/was abusive, he was my only relationship and I don't have that healthy model as my father was also abusive/ alcoholic. I only get limited time to myself as my X only has a one bed so when she stays she's on the couch which isn't fair as she's growing. It's draining with a child with Sen, it feels she will always be childlike when you see other children the same age becoming independent . Also I have no family support. I'm trying to alleviate myself out of poverty by studying and I'm looking at all my assignments in tears as I don't know where to start. I would love to have a career, a nice home (even if it was just a rented one, I don't feel safe here crime is high) and a loving partner/husband. Instead I have been used for sex. Feels horrid. All my friends are coupled up and either don't go out, or they go out with friends of their partners. I'm literally left behind and Facebook only makes it worse with that reposting thing that's doing the rounds, if you have a guy that's perfect for you etc etc. Thanks for reading any thoughts considerrd.

Prettylittleliar99 Sun 20-Mar-16 17:31:42


Belikethat Sun 20-Mar-16 17:52:43

Hi sorry I don't have any advice but I am in a similar situation in that I am a full time carer for my disabled dc and had to give up my career which I loved to care for them.

When I look to the future I know that they won't lead independent lives after they leave school and will need a lot of care into adulthood.

I can't contemplate a relationship or anything resembling a social life because of my commitments.

If you are studying, are you working towards a career? It sounds like you are making small steps in the right direction. Are you able to do a very part-time job eg bar work which would give you a bit of money and socialise you a bit? I can't commit to that with my dc but am thinking of volunteering in the daytime when they are in school.

Can you find out if you are entitled to any support or respite for your dd?

Can you make some new student friends if all yours are coupled up? I have that problem too but I do have a few friends who like to meet for a coffee in the day.

Sorry I can't be of more help but just to say yes it is hard.

LineyReborn Sun 20-Mar-16 17:57:30

Does your college / university have any groups or clubs you could join? I joined a few when I was first a student and met friends that way - I was quite shy back then as well.

Prettylittleliar99 Sun 20-Mar-16 20:19:00

No clubs I could join at present. Student friends are coupled up too 😕

Prettylittleliar99 Mon 21-Mar-16 15:57:32

Any other words of wisdom?

LineyReborn Mon 21-Mar-16 16:53:22

People on MN can be very helpful with assignments, planning, organising, etc. What level are you at? There are FE and HE boards on here which might offer you some support and chat.

Your life does sound hard. Have you ever thought about asking for a carer's assessment? The posters on the special needs Chat board are very knowledgeable.

Best wishes flowers

Prettylittleliar99 Tue 26-Apr-16 05:34:21

Hi all... Wanted to update. Feeling very low hence why not asleep yet at 5am. Well not much has changed since the thread was started except one of the core requirements of the uni course, I had a much exam for and I got much lower grades than expected so it may be I'm not going anywhere in September. I know there's still time to try fix it but it's so disheartening. Feel like giving up .

Chottie Tue 26-Apr-16 05:37:54

Hi - please go and speak to your course tutor asap to find out if there is anything you can do and what your options are.

RememberToSmile1980 Tue 26-Apr-16 05:41:00

I just wanted to say don't give up. Yes you are up against it and you feel as though you can't do it. Speak to your uni tutors - they may be understanding. Also enquirer about counselling via the university? Speaking to someone may help you. Have you enquired about getting some help with your daughter? What form of asd does she have? I know that there are probably some charities that you could get in touch with. Sending you hugs flowers

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