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So confused

(26 Posts)
Danfra06 Sat 19-Mar-16 20:42:07

Me and my partner of over a year split up 2days ago. He told me to never speak to him again, then he spoke to me and asked for 4 days space. Which I agreed to. He then spoke to me yesterday to say he hated me and never wanted to see me again and nothing good comes from our relationship. But we spoke in the day and it seemed OK. then last night he came to my house and it was back to normal. Kissing cuddles and s*x. And he says I'll have to wait and see about a relationship. Now he's said today he's not ready for a relationship and he doesn't know if we will be together. But we have a holiday coming up in a month and he's speaking about what we're going to do when we're there. And today he said bye I love you. I try and get answers out of him and he gets annoyed with loads of questions.
Any opinions on this and what to do will be helpful thanks.

MidnightVelvetthe5th Sat 19-Mar-16 20:55:41

He's a twat, why on earth are you letting him treat you like this?! It's fairly clear the relationship is over, stop giving him all the power and tell him its over. Make the decision yourself and move on brew

ImperialBlether Sat 19-Mar-16 20:58:01

It's a wonder you're not going crazy with this. Why are you letting someone talk to you like that? Tell him to sod off and leave you alone (though expect him to suddenly love you more than life itself.)

And don't have sex with him again.

BeyonceRiRiMadonnna Sat 19-Mar-16 21:29:46

OP, read back your OP and pretend it's a friend who is telling you this?

Have you ever watched a cat play with a mouse before finally killing and eating it?......this is what I thought of as I read your OP, you'd be the mouse in this scenario. Not good.

merville Sat 19-Mar-16 22:21:58

He sounds like Jim Carey in The Mask of some similarly split personality character; it's so extreme it's almost comical (not poking fun at your situation I emphasise).
And he has the gall to get angry when you try to clarify what the fk is going on (!)

Has he shown other signs of extreme behaviour, changability, flakiness, instability?
This would drive anyone insane.
I know it must be v hard, but perhaps making alternative holiday arrangements and taking more control for yourself in this decision might be best ... how do you rate the overall relationship, do you really want to continue it & think he;s a good partner?

goddessofsmallthings Sun 20-Mar-16 00:52:57

He then spoke to me yesterday to say he hated me and never wanted to see me again

How old is he? If he's any older than 12 he's a severe case of retarded development as these are the words of a child.

Where's your pride gone? Stop having sex with him, cancel the holiday or arrange to go with another grown up, and tell him to fuck the fuck off and stay there.

Only1scoop Sun 20-Mar-16 00:56:09

Has he got mental health issues?

StillAwakeAndItIsLate Sun 20-Mar-16 11:28:26

Oh my life, tell him to go away and stop being silly.

BonitaFangita Sun 20-Mar-16 11:33:52

Agree with Midnight Velvet, end it now and cut all contact with him for your own sanity. You're worth more than this chocolate

ptumbi Sun 20-Mar-16 11:37:30

he says I'll have to wait and see about a relationship - oh, I don't think so. He expects you to wait around to see if he wants a relationship with you? How about you say, fuckNO, I'm not your fucking toy. I'm not waiting around for no-one, you take your time, and I'll go off having fun somewhere else.

Take back control - he does NOT control you

Roses43 Sun 20-Mar-16 11:47:28

He sounds very young and confused to me. There is not a lot of info to go on op. Could you elaborate?
Hate is a word chucked about so easily and looks horrid written but can easily be spoken in times of frustration.
You both definitely need space from each other as its sounding a bit toxic at the moment.
Let the dust settle.

Heatherjayne1972 Sun 20-Mar-16 13:16:16

Is he for real? Distance yourself as much as you can. Be unavailable Consider it over. Don't let yourself get caught up in his 'I let you go but I'm going to keep you hanging on just in case I find someone better but if not I'll come back to you ' nonsense

Danfra06 Sun 20-Mar-16 22:27:54

Well I am controlling and moan constantly when he leaves the house even when he goes work

LineyReborn Sun 20-Mar-16 22:32:17

Why do you do that?

And .. do you really? Or does he just say so??

Danfra06 Sun 20-Mar-16 22:32:26

I suffer with bad depression and most of the problems start when I don't take my medication. He came round tonight to look after my daughter because I'm unwell and he isn't happy because I didn't say a word to him since he been here and he trying to get her fed and to sleep

LineyReborn Sun 20-Mar-16 22:33:25

Is she his child, too?

Danfra06 Sun 20-Mar-16 22:33:45


LineyReborn Sun 20-Mar-16 22:45:04

It sounds like a sad, mutually awful relationship tbh.

Are you not happy with your prescribed medication?

Only1scoop Sun 20-Mar-16 22:45:52

I'm not sure I'd want him to be caring for my DC if I were you.

Have you anyone else to help out whilst you feeling rough.

Danfra06 Sun 20-Mar-16 22:46:50

It is sad tbh better to just fuck it all off

I'm changed my medication a lot and now on the highest dose possible but I miss them at least 3times a week

Danfra06 Sun 20-Mar-16 22:49:15

I don't really want him too but I'm really not well atm and trying to get hold of her dad who I should of stayed with

Lanark2 Sun 20-Mar-16 22:50:48

Don't be too freaked. Men do sometimes drop into childish and/or rescue me behaviour.. And no wonder, its instinctive, as though relationships are all sorts of things, they come from a process of testing partners for how they will act as parents. Do you forgive a teen for door slamming and walking out, or do you end your relationship with them.

That said, he is also showing you that his way of dealing with emotional strains is to pretend it didn't happen (at the moment). This might be OK or not..

Lanark2 Sun 20-Mar-16 22:52:18

Aw. Sorry saw last post, you are obv feeling a little 'what I could have had' and being introspective. Its good to remember people who have meant something to you. Its a sign of being ace.

Danfra06 Sun 20-Mar-16 22:53:47

Yes I should of stayed with my ex biggest mistake

Danfra06 Sun 20-Mar-16 23:07:55

Can anybody help me up

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