Over reacting?

[KitchenNightmare99]

Not sure if I'm over reacting to this or not.

DH has one of those finger print lock phones. This morning DS was playing with his phone and I then took it and had a nosey through it (don't know why but I just did). Anyway he was out with work ones a few weeks ago got in at 3am...looking at the messages that night he and two guys(one single one has a live in partner) he works with went on to a club and a girl chatted one of them up. There was then a picture of the guy with the partner getting his ear bit by one of the girls...the other guy sent it to my DH the next day. He said to my DH 'they thought you were gay' whatever that meant.

The same single guy then sent my DH a message last week when DH was going out to watch the rugby with his non work friends that 'girls like guys who watch rugby' and DH wrote back with a thumbs up sign. I am livid I think it's bloody disrespectful to be receiving and replying to messages like that.

I feel like sending the guy with the live in partners pic onto her and let her decide what she thinks of it. But I'm so angry and upset with the thumbs up sign. I spoke to DH today and his excuse was I didn't know how to reply and I didn't continue on the convo. But I told him a simple why would I care I'm married would of been enough. It has made me question everything now but am I over reacting?

[LastInTheQueue]

You're completely overreacting.

[fitzbilly]

You're definitely over reacting

[Mamaka]

"They thought you were gay" sounds like your dh wasn't giving the girls any attention and his excuse for the thumbs up sounds like a normal response from a guy who's a bit wet and doesn't know how to tell a friend he's not interested. I think you are overreacting slightly unless you have other reason to mistrust him (why did you want to snoop?) As for the one with the partner I would stay out of it. Try and separate your own problem with your dh from his friend's relationship.

[Pinkvici22]

Definite overreaction.

[PamDooveOrangeJoof]

The first thing sounds like they thought he was gay because he didn't talk to the girls or whatever.
The second bit about the rugby doesn't even make any sense.

[KitchenNightmare99]

Things have been a bit 'off' recently. There was quite a big issue that happened at work recently and he only told me about it two days ago and I was a bit hurt why he hadn't told me about it before. Just has felt like there's a bit of a void between us for a while. I used to say with 100% certainty that he wouldn't cheat but now I'm not that certain and I don't know why

[TurnOffTheTv]

Totally over reacting.

[KitchenNightmare99]

But I am glad you all think I'm over reacting it's made me feel better about it all sometimes you need an outsiders perspective to settle your mind

[Mamaka]

If you have a gut feeling that there's something different and you're no longer he wouldn't cheat then you need to somehow address that.
I wouldn't use these messages to bring it up though.

[Mamaka]

No longer sure*

[MajesticWhine]

You're overreacting. But you are feeling like this because you are not feeling close to him. So forget about the messages and work on getting that communication back.

[Mousefinkle]

Complete overreaction. I only ever use the thumbs up sign if I think what they've said is stupid. It's sarcastic and a good way of saying 'shut up and go away'. He wasn't agreeing with the friend at all, it's not like he said "god yeah, get me some of that thirsty pussy." Then you'd have a point.

Also the gay thing will have been because your DH didn't entertain the girls. You should be pleased.