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I have always sailed on the windy side of personality island...

(117 Posts)
MissAlabamaWhitman Sat 19-Mar-16 00:08:43

And I don't feel as if I can commit to one person sexually, for life. Why should I?

Love you forever, definitely.
In sickness and in health, absolutely.
Till death do us part, unquestionably.

Forsaking all others? To be candid; probably not. Why would you expect me to?

What does it prove (or disprove)

Enlighten me.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Sat 19-Mar-16 00:11:35

For some people I assume it proves all of the above.

Clearly not for you.

So long as your partner agrees either way both are fine.

PurpleDaisies Sat 19-Mar-16 00:12:45

If you don't want to commit to one person for life that's totally up to you. As long as the people you have relationships with know that it's totally your choice. Where it's a problem is if you're sneaking around behind their back when they think you're being faithful.

MissAlabamaWhitman Sat 19-Mar-16 00:16:06

I would never mislead another person as to my intentions

I guess I don't understand how sexual fidelity is so akin to love to somany on this board.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Sat 19-Mar-16 00:17:46

Same as they don't understand how your relationship operates.

We're all different. A little acceptance goes a long way.

MissAlabamaWhitman Sat 19-Mar-16 00:18:28

Surely it's more akin to your ego than to any pure motion of love?

Since when was love (or even attraction)an exclusive construct?

MissAlabamaWhitman Sat 19-Mar-16 00:20:00

I accept your status quo

Of course Ido

It's societally validated

Why ?

What is the inherent benefit?

VelvetCushion Sat 19-Mar-16 00:22:52

I agree with you OP.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Sat 19-Mar-16 00:24:00

Inherent benefit= Feeling comfortable in ones self.

Different things allow different people to feel secure.

Just because you don't believe in it doesn't make it invalid. (Look at every religion that ever existed. Just because I don't believe in it doesn't mean it doesn't matter for other people.)

I think it has shite all to do with ego. Red herring.

Love as an exclusive construct has been much the same for 1000s of years. Religious construct which has been adopted as a societal norm.

It's not really a big deal.

MissAlabamaWhitman Sat 19-Mar-16 00:26:19

Fabulous cushion. Thank you

How the hell does sexual fidelity equal commitment in the emotional sense?

I adore my partner. I'll never leave him, irrespective of my desire and copulation with other men.

Where's the proven correlation between adoration and fidelity?

MissAlabamaWhitman Sat 19-Mar-16 00:27:54

As I requested Jez....

Enlighten me?

MissAlabamaWhitman Sat 19-Mar-16 00:29:28

If your comfort is dependent upon my sexual desire then darling, more fool you..,

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Sat 19-Mar-16 00:29:50

Unfortunately a proven correlation of a feeling would rely on Psychological tests.

I think there's many people who think the same as you who live in a monogamous relationship because they love their partner enough to accept what they feel is acceptable.

I gave up smoking for DP. I'd put this in the same boat.

MissAlabamaWhitman Sat 19-Mar-16 00:34:44

Fair enough

Same boat. I wouldn't.

Smoking isn't a natural and irrefutable human behaviour
Copulation with the most proximal and attractive member of the opposite sex, unfortunately is.

So... You may put them in the same 'boat'

I would still wish you good luck with that.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Sat 19-Mar-16 00:42:35

Do you mean to sound so utterly patronising?

Also, copulation with a member of the opposite sex is a common, yet not irrefutable human behaviour.

noeuf Sat 19-Mar-16 01:00:23

Is anyone actually asking you to? Is this a real dilemma or just a musing? I don't think you're on your own; I'm sure you can partner up with someone happy to have an open relationship.

NickiFury Sat 19-Mar-16 01:39:42

You sound massively pretentious and pleased with yourself tbh. Enlighten you? No. Think what you want. You don't want a discussion anyway I don't think, just a platform to air your unoriginal views and get loads of attention.

RiceCrispieTreats Sat 19-Mar-16 05:25:43

You really sound scornful of views different than your own.

But all that's happening here is that you don't believe that sexual fidelity is part of overall fidelity, whereas many/most other people do. You don't get to scorn those other people simply because they're different to you. Nor does the validity of this belief need to be proven to you.

You just need to accept that other people are free to have their own values. If you can.

MissAlabamaWhitman Sat 19-Mar-16 05:59:19

I'm not particularly scornful of those who believe/practise sexual fidelity.

I do however wonder why so many people insist on it as a prerequisite of love and adoration?

Buster08 Sat 19-Mar-16 06:12:03

Because the vast majority of people would be incredibly hurt if the person they loved had sex with other people. Therefore most people don't out of respect for their partner.

If you and your partner are truly not emotionally affected by the other having multiple sexual partners then that is absolutely fine. To feel unaffected though is, imo not very common hence so few couples live happily with such an arrangement.

LaurieFairyCake Sat 19-Mar-16 06:14:00

People insist on it and have done for centuries to ensure their familial line - ie. That their children are their children

And so they don't catch std's

And so they're not 'cuckolded' and embarrassed

And because people see all the extra thinking about sex/chasing sex/making time for sex and the stuff that leads up to it as quite time consuming - time that takes them
away from their primary relationship.

These are just a few of the reasons while people are more likely to desire monogamy in long term relationships.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Sat 19-Mar-16 07:04:24

Windeze could help your little flatulence issue

Kr1stina Sat 19-Mar-16 07:06:55

I prefer peppermint tea myself

CuttedUpPear Sat 19-Mar-16 07:11:53


MatildaBeetham Sat 19-Mar-16 07:54:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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