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help: being tracked/stalked/abuse?

(19 Posts)
dreame Fri 18-Mar-16 19:30:35

I'm posting on behalf of a non-MN friend.

Her soon to be exH has been following her..somehow. It seems her Whatsapp has been being accessed remotely. She thought it was a few months ago but STBX denied it although he had info that was only in Whatsapp messages. Now she deletes everything after reading and sending but saw two voice messages showing up as heard before she'd had a chance to listen them - and had had her phone all the time.

She recently found him by her car in a car park of a residential building that he shouldn't have known she'd be in/near. He ran off when she arrived at her car (but they're still living together because he's being a PITA basically).

He was accessing her emails a few months ago and she reset her password (to a random letter/number/upper and lowercase combo) and that seemed to work for a while but then he got access again. Then he said he'd stop accessing them but that he could "anytime he wanted" regardless of what password she used.

She now has a second phone which she's hiding as long as she can.

He says he has dates and times of some of her activities and he's hired someone to follow her.

So can anybody help out here. She's not in the UK, in case that makes a difference. What is he doing, how is he doing it and what measures can she take to be untraceable?!

And finally, I've told her this is abuse, but when I went to find her a link to send to her new phone, I couldn't see this sort of thing laid out. She thinks he's being a stereotypical "jealous husband" which I don't think is an excuse anyway, but it's more than that, right?!

callitdelta7 Fri 18-Mar-16 19:32:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

callitdelta7 Fri 18-Mar-16 19:32:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreame Fri 18-Mar-16 19:35:35

Oh great. Thanks for these!

dreame Fri 18-Mar-16 19:37:37

Calli sorry I've just looked at my Whatsapp. It's on my phone (as hers is) how would it not be linked to my phone? I can't see how to keep it on my phone but not be linked to it.

BingoBonkers Fri 18-Mar-16 19:37:55

That's more than jealousy. He's totally stalking her!

What country?

callitdelta7 Fri 18-Mar-16 19:39:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreame Fri 18-Mar-16 19:39:43

Let's just say it's not the worst country to be a woman in the world, but it's in that region.

ijustwannadance Fri 18-Mar-16 19:40:14

That isn't normal jealousy. That is scary, unhinged, stalker behaviour.

dreame Fri 18-Mar-16 19:40:30

Calli thanks and OMFG!! I had no idea. The bastard has def done that.

callitdelta7 Fri 18-Mar-16 19:41:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreame Fri 18-Mar-16 19:45:36

Great, thanks Calli!

I was wondering if there's an android app that you can use to track the phone like iPhones (her first phone is android, second is iPhone).

Also with the car, is it realistic that a tracker could be put in the car and then she could be tracked from his phone (I don't know what phone he has, probably android)?

callitdelta7 Fri 18-Mar-16 19:48:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

callitdelta7 Fri 18-Mar-16 19:48:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreame Fri 18-Mar-16 19:52:09

Aah yes. That's a problem. I've already passed the info you've given on to her. Will ask for it to be deleted. It's a bit of a bind for those stalked though because it means the stalkers ALWAYS will have the upper hand.

dreame Fri 18-Mar-16 19:54:05

I've reported a post asking to delete the thread but from phone can't see how to report thread. Go ahead anyone if you can/want!

WannaBe Fri 18-Mar-16 20:00:58

To be fair, stalkers aren't going to come to mn to see how to do it - there are plenty of how-to's on the internet.

I don't know about whatsapp, I was always under the impression it only went to one phone number, but I imagine there is a way to disconnect from any other device etc.

Yes he could track her phone through find my friends/find my iPhone etc.

WRT email, she needs a programme which stores passwords safely - I can't remember what it's called. However, he could retrieve passwords without a keylogger, I discovered yesterday that there is a programme which you can install which will search your pc for any passwords and reveal them. My thirteen year old used it yesterday to retrieve an email password I'd lost over two years ago (he did it with my consent fwiw).

callitdelta7 Fri 18-Mar-16 20:02:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreame Fri 18-Mar-16 20:13:18

Wannabe thanks! Will send that on.

I guess the thought is that someone who wants to stalk, rather than a current stalker could use threads like this for tips/ideas.

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