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small lie - should I be bothered

(9 Posts)
JJRJ1002 Fri 18-Mar-16 18:12:39

Hi all,
This might seem really silly but i have to get it off my chest.
I had a baby a few months ago and since then I have been feeling really really insecure (I have never said anything to my DP) I keep thinking he's messaging another girl, no real reason to think this, it's just that he is on his phone constantly and because I'm feeling insecure and shit about myself and because we've been arguing quite a bit, my mind is all over the place. I get really uncomfortable when an attractive woman comes on the tv, especially if they r in underwear or naked, because I feel he is lusting after her, I have never felt like this before in my life and feel so stupid about it. I have tried to initiate Sex a few times and he hasn't been interested, so I don't bother any more so that's non existent. I thought he had deactivated his Facebook account a few years ago but have just found out that he has actually had it active all along- I feel what was the need to lie about that!? So now I'm thinking is he hiding something? Is that really silly of me?

whimsical1975 Fri 18-Mar-16 18:50:11

Has he been active on it?? Some people have FB pages but never go on them. If he uses it often and hasn't sent you a friend request then I would find that a bit odd, but if he never uses it then I wouldn't worry about it!!

JJRJ1002 Fri 18-Mar-16 19:08:16

I have no idea because I'm not on Facebook

CocktailQueen Fri 18-Mar-16 19:09:29

If you have a new baby why is dh constantly on his phone? Is he pulling his weight? Why not search for your dh on FB and see what he's been up to?

JJRJ1002 Fri 18-Mar-16 19:20:08

He does pull his weight and is good with the baby.
All other times he is on his phone and the msg tone goes off a lot. Which makes my mind race.
Even if I went on FB it wouldn't be stuff that's on his page that I would really worry about (as I doubt he would show a lot on there) it would be my mind racing about private inbox msgs that I can't see.
Am I being silly? is it my insecurities? I just don't know what has happened to me

sillysusan Fri 18-Mar-16 19:26:05

Aw love thanks can I just say I completely understand through both my babies I lost my self confidence / image.

Is it an actual lie or had he just not mentioned it?

I would speak to him about it, tell him your feeling low and the reasons why , that you want to pick your relationship up etc. And if you can't say it maybe a text.

Slowly slowly but your relationship will recover (probably) a baby is such a big change for you both

CocktailQueen Fri 18-Mar-16 19:37:21

Yes, I'd talk to him - why doesn't he want sex? Can you ask to see his phone? Say how insecure you're feeling? His reaction will probably tell you a lot about how he's feeling.

claireL1991 Fri 18-Mar-16 19:44:33

I've been cheated on in the past and this sounds nothing like it, he doesn't sound like he's being secretive.

If he was texting another woman would he be receiving these messages on his normal mobile with his normal text tone whilst he is with you?

His Facebook, if he was using it to talk to another woman then would he be using his own name and details or would he set up a new, fake one?
You can accidentally re activate a Facebook account with email addresses, I did it once and didn't realise for a few months later.

I think you should have a think about how realistic you think your theories are and have a chat with him.
As someone else said, you can tell a lot from his reaction.

Don't let this fester or it will drive you insane!

Best of luck,
Claire x

AliceInUnderpants Fri 18-Mar-16 19:44:45

Why did you think he wasn't on Facebook? Did you ask him to come off? Have you been jealous before?

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