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Turns out my gut was right/OW

(13 Posts)
Fanfeck Fri 18-Mar-16 00:55:44

My partner of 7 years walked out a few short months ago leaving me and DD absolutely shell shocked and devastated.

In the run up to this I did get a few weird niggles about a colleague of his and the constant back handed comments she had about me, if he mentioned doing something nice for me she would suggest I was such high maintenance, he mentioned the (very average) price of my hair dryer and she was aghast that a woman would "spend so much on herself", he picked up my perfume for me and she smelt it and scrunched up her nose in disgust (grin) etc etc. Was constantly finding excuses to text him outside of work, haaaated kids and asked him does he really love DD hmm
He used to make me feel like I was mad and imagining things.

Well then he just walked out the door one day, I am a pretty tough cookie usually but had to go to the doctor for the sheer shock blush

I'm fine now and so much happier even than when we were together (and I thought we were great together)

I've known he was seeing someone for quite sometime and have been very accommodating to him regarding days etc and I suppose I could even say happy for him.

Tonight I've found out she's the one he's with though, i feel sick and angry but I also get I probably have no place to. Wondering was he cheating, pretty sure he left me for her and I was all along but he told me his girlfriend was the same nationality as us when this girl isn't so I presumed it wasn't her.

I am honestly glad to be rid of him but sick that all her chipping and comments obviously "worked" (a man can't be taken, I know that)

Ugh

mrschatty Fri 18-Mar-16 01:09:10

Firstly I'm so sorry to hear this op. What a heartbreaking situation for you and dd flowers
Secondly how do you.know about her spiteful comments (high maintenance/perfume etc) was he coming home a d telling you "Oh so and so thinks it's shocking a woman would spend so much on a hairdryer" that must have been shit you must have thought who the hell is this person and why is DO telling me this!!
She sounds false and spiteful in time he will realise and how awful for him to start seeing someone who hates kids. Nice.

Fanfeck Fri 18-Mar-16 01:19:25

Thanks for replying MrsChatty, yeah it's peculiar isn't it, him telling me about the remarks? But at the time it didn't seem like he was being hurtful, we would always chat about our work day and our colleagues but whatever way he said it, didn't seem weird to me-almost like he didn't agree with her. I wouldn't have considered him a master manipulator.

The hating kids part gets me the most! DD is so hurt by him leaving I had hoped when he met someone else that she'd be someone who would encourage him to be a better parent (he's not awful but I do think women sometimes have a good influence on fathers) but I'm doubting that now! Though DD very rarely stays over so it may not be a huge issue.

Agh I just feel so angry for DD and for being so naive!

girlfrommars33 Fri 18-Mar-16 01:20:44

Didn't want to read and run op though have no proper advice. Seems to me that whatever the truth you are well out of it and made brave and positive decisions to make that the case. You've already done the hard bits. You have the moral high ground and are a strong woman and parent. She sounds dreadful and that no doubt reinforces the decisions you made. But it doesn't now matter who the woman was, even though natural emotions might say it does. You've moving on and are doing well.

girlfrommars33 Fri 18-Mar-16 01:24:00

And you weren't naive. Sounds as if you've always focused on the important things: your DD, leaving your unfaithful partner, building a positive life. The OW is nothing to you. She may be in your partners life, you don't know for how long. But your DD has you.

goddessofsmallthings Fri 18-Mar-16 01:32:49

Rejoice that he was "taken" by a low-maintenance tart woman who'll be satisfied with tat cheapo gifts from market stalls leaving him with plenty of dosh for his dd's maintenance and whose hatred of children means she won't want to intrude on the quality time he spends with her. smile

Rest assured it wasn't the ow's carping about you that caused him to leave so much as the continual stroking of his ego, which caused it to over-inflate and waft him off in a fog of lust delusion.

Stupid sod. She'll get pg eat him for breakfast grin

SoThatHappened Fri 18-Mar-16 01:55:01

I think these are the words you are looking for! If she is such a cow, she will only get worse.

dontcallmecis Fri 18-Mar-16 02:42:39

i feel sick and angry but I also get I probably have no place to.

You DO, actually.

Fanfeck Fri 18-Mar-16 18:51:13

I feel a million times worse today and I've acted like a loon saying awful things so I lost the moral high ground altogether.

ricketytickety Fri 18-Mar-16 19:00:15

sayimg a few home truths won't mean you lost the moral high ground. But just think, she sounds nasty and he seemed to think so too when you were together. Unless he was lying about what she said to put you off realising what was going on. If that's the case, he can't caere for her that much as he made her out to be nasty for his own reasons. Either way, they lose and you win because you are free from his shite.

Mag314s Fri 18-Mar-16 19:02:24

You sound really strong. You sound genuinely glad to be without a lying cheater. It can take a long time to get there.

SickInBedOnTwoChairs Fri 18-Mar-16 20:13:31

Focus on the bit where you said you are happier than ever OP. They are a pair of cheats. do not give them any more of your thoughts, they really do not deserve them.

Helmetbymidnight Fri 18-Mar-16 20:24:34

You didn't lose the moral high ground. I imagine you showed him how angry and hurt you are by his twattish behaviour.
Ow sounds awwwwfuuuul though. Ha!

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