I want a quiet life

[chocolatebiscuitsplease]

Hi, I am in a miserable marriage that is on its way out but suspect it's going to be a long and horrible process because my DH is a pig and I just want some friendship/support 😞

[NameChange30]

Here to hand hold. Have all the !!!

[Openmindedmonkey]

Hi chocolate, here's a hand 👋 & an👂too.
You sound like you're in a very unfair & unhappy place, which is no place to be.
What do YOU want to happen next? That counts for at least as much as what he wants!
Do you have DCs?

[Openmindedmonkey]

That was meant to be a holding hands not a weirdly wobbly wave!

[Openmindedmonkey]

Ggrrrrr.... *hand

[Hissy]

A hand to hold from Me too. Xx

[VitaSackvileVest]

A hand to hold from me as well

[LaContessaDiPlump]

Here with

[AnyFucker]

Hello there.

[AdoraBell]

Another hand to hold

[MrsArthurShappey]

Friendship and support is what we is innit?

[BirthdayBetty]

Here with

[TwoLeftSocks]

Tea and cake from me too, a quiet life sounds like a good goal in life

[Guiltypleasures001]

I'll be revving up the get to fuck cab to keep it warm for him op

[Bree85]

I am also with you. I hope everything will be alright soon. :)

[mix56]

so have you got a SHL set up ?

[aginghippy]

chocolate

[jayho]

I'm here

[Imbroglio]

cheers!

[NorksAreMessy]

Supportive Norks here

[chocolatebiscuitsplease]

😊 thank you all for the support, I will gladly take the hands of friendship with a side of wine, cake, tea and flowers... what I want to happen is to go quietly in to a new life of peace but DH is going bitterly in to a place of hostility. That I am this tired already tells me that the fight has been going on longer than I would admit, and now I feel like I am running out of energy and it's only just begun ☹

[TwoLeftSocks]

I'm sure once you get things rolling you'll find a renewed energy. Have you got anything lawyerish sorted yet?

[chocolatebiscuitsplease]

I am seeing two for half hour consultations next week. I can't afford the ones that friends have used, so I am hoping they will be good. How I am supposed to know what 'good' is I have no idea. Anyone out there can tell me what to look for in a divorce lawyer I would be grateful? I had to spend a year with an inheritance lawyer unraveling my mum's affairs, because she died without a will - this was not a large estate just complicated, and I did not like the lawyer at all as things progressed, she was quite horrible, so I am nervous about my own judgement.

[Dungandbother]

I saw two lawyers. One a woman I paid £75 for an hour consultation. She was a man hater and laid it out flat to me about my entitlement.

I didn't want an argumentative ball breaker and I knew she wanted to earn £££

I then spoke to a local small law firm and my lawyer is pragmatic and a bit square. He told me he does Conveyancing on Fridays so he isn't available on Fridays. I liked his honesty. We rub along well. He's been factual and by the book in a silent assassin sort of way.

There's no harm in chatting interviewing them you know.

[KatyLovesKats]

I found it really hard to know what good meant too!

If you have been in an abusive relationship, Women's Aid will be able to recommend a solicitor who is experienced in "coercive control". Otherwise, I found they were (probably) similar in terms of the advice they gave, some just got it across better than others.

So for me good meant not so much what they said, but how they said it and whether or not your meetings were followed up promptly with an accurate written account of what was said, whether phone calls were acknowledged with an email response... there needs to be a good and clear paper trail.

You don't want to be sitting around waiting for call backs and letters.

Also, my solicitor filled in all the forms (which costs but no time gets wasted because you made a mistake, etc)

Also, instinct. You need to "like" this person or at least know they're on your side and will be fair.

Hope that is of some help. Good luck!