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Acquaintances husband on dating site

(9 Posts)
RedYellowPepper Tue 15-Mar-16 19:26:26

I was contacted by someone's husband (I know from my ds's school) that I know on PoF.
I think he contacted me as I didn't have a photo on my profile (I wasn't quite sure about putting one on or that sure about online dating so hadn't really got going with it). I asked him to send a photo and was rather shocked to find out who it was (he also sent me some employment info so know it is him). I haven't replied.
I'm not really friends with his dw but really think she ought to know.
My ex-h cheated on me and I wish someone had told me what was going on which is why I think his dw should know but I really can't bring myself to tell her. I'm quite shy and just couldn't bring myself to do it.
Has anyone any ideas of doing it anonymously / catching him out again anonymously?

Slowdecrease Tue 15-Mar-16 19:38:56

Tricky. This happened to me...not OLD but was chatted up in a club by a guy who wanted to come home with me..the very next day went to new work friends for lunch - and the same guy was there on the wall in the family portrait, I kid you not. Ten minutes later he walked in the house for lunch and turned white. I didn't say anything at the time at all but did after and they did split up. I'm sure I wasn't the only person he chatted up and maybe he had form. I'm not sure I'd do it again though...I felt terrible.

Duckdeamon Tue 15-Mar-16 19:41:58

I would get her details from a mutual aquaintance, class contact list or whatever and would tell her.

Goingtobeawesome Tue 15-Mar-16 19:45:57

If you are going to tell her, get cast iron proof.

Duckdeamon Tue 15-Mar-16 19:47:16

OP presumably has her OLD profile, his one and the messages he sent her, which should suffice!

whimsical1975 Tue 15-Mar-16 19:49:08

This would be the perfect opportunity for you and his DW to catch him red-handed. In order to avoid any excuses this idiot might come up with if confronted e.g.. signed up to help a friend; it isn't really him it's just someone using his details etc. you could carry on chatting, arrange to meet him, then have his DW hiding out waiting to confront him once he arrives. His face would be a picture.

What an absolute f*ckwit!

BumpPower Tue 15-Mar-16 19:50:05

As you don't really know the man or his DW would it be niave to suggest that maybe she knows? Maybe this is there thing? They could have an open relationship or he gets his rocks off contacting people OLD but never takes it further etc etc.... I know the most obvious answer is he is a cheating Bastard but as you don't know I'd advise keeping your powder dry, not involving yourself if other people's relationships and just not responding contacting him again..... Or send a breezy "Hey our kids go to the same school - not interest thanks"

MissBianca Tue 15-Mar-16 19:50:53

Tell her, but not anonymously. That will cause torment, and suspicion over everyone she knows. And pick a good time, when she won't, for example just have picked up children or whatever.

RedYellowPepper Tue 15-Mar-16 20:19:15

I'm so angry that someone does this. I feel awful.
When I found out that a mutual colleague of mine and my ex-h knew about his affair I was so upset that no one said anything. We were having an awful time as it was and it would have saved me some agony but I have no idea what situation this couple are in.
It would almost be easier if she was a friend of mine and not just another Mum I see / occasionally chat to in the playground.
I know it sounds awful but I did think if someone else could get him on that website and then send the evidence who doesn't know him in real life that could be much easier and there would be much less awkwardness.
I'm not sure I could face seeing this poor woman everyday for a few years yet if I told her.
I have to say, I had my initial reservations about online dating and I have now been totally put off.

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