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Physical vs. verbal affection

(12 Posts)
DagenhamDavina Mon 14-Mar-16 18:50:03

Obviously both together is the ideal, but do you think one is more meaningful than the other? Have you found that one is a better indicator of the health & staying power of a relationship?

I don't mean sex, but hugs & kisses, cuddling up on the sofa & in bed, holding hands or putting his arm around you when out & about... would you rather have that, or someone who is always telling you that he loves you, you're gorgeous, you make him so happy, he's so lucky to have you, etc?

clashofclanswidow Mon 14-Mar-16 19:09:51

Physical affection - not to be cliché but I think actions speak louder than words and that could be all they are, words.

This is just my opinion as all past relationships for me seem to have fizzled out after we have stopped being as close with one another but the "I love you"s have still been said out of habit I think.

Tough one as on the opposite hand you could be with someone very full on, who doesn't have the words to back up their feelings?

In the long run though, I think physical helps more with the "staying power" as if you feel loved, you find it easier to say anyway =)

redexpat Mon 14-Mar-16 20:24:57

Depends entirely on who you are. BTW those are only 2 of 5 love languages.


redexpat Mon 14-Mar-16 20:25:26 Clicky link

Bree85 Tue 15-Mar-16 14:29:20

Physical affection for me too. Actions are better than words.

custardmountains2 Tue 15-Mar-16 22:01:14

Actions and words

0phelia Tue 15-Mar-16 22:16:35

Words can be disingenuous.
Affection can be selfish.

True love is acting out what you say, and acting out how you feel.

A good relationship values the words and affection in equal meausure.

jfdusdjfdn Tue 15-Mar-16 22:21:25

Personally I prefer words, it's too easy for men to go for actions. I prefer to hear it & see the look in their eyes as they say it. I find actions alone hollow.

custardmountains2 Tue 15-Mar-16 22:35:49

It's about words and then putting them into actions of showing you care about that person - don't get me started smile

brambly Tue 15-Mar-16 22:46:26

For me both are uncomfortable - especially to excess.

My not so sensible way of monitoring the success/progress of a relationship is in how things are working sexually, and my far more sensible way is more with respect to the decisions that they (and I) make are making, vis a vis the relationship and its cogs.

Unprompted cuddles and declarations I would rather do without.

Just thought it was worth inputting a slightly more unorthodox perspective as I know often when people ask if certain relatively minor lacks of things are automatically a red flag as to their partner's level of attachment, others can tend to respond very quickly that it clearly is. Although clearly it can often be, and I know this sounds obvious, there are plenty of us for whom certain forms of "classic" affection are just extra/cringeworthy/uncomfortable/irritating etc, and lack of reciprocal of it is, if nothing else, not a barometer of actual feelings in any way. It takes all sorts, etc, and with the values and resulting tendencies that are usually instilled in men, I imagine this applies doubly so in their case.

brambly Tue 15-Mar-16 22:47:23

Lack of reciprocality, even! Bloody phones.

DagenhamDavina Wed 16-Mar-16 15:27:46

Thanks for the replies - some varied opinions! I know what you mean by acting things out as well - I suppose I hadn't thought of that as a type of affection. Hmm...

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