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Shall I tell him I love him?

(12 Posts)
CardiffUniversityNetballTeam Mon 14-Mar-16 10:28:33

Been together five months.
I love him. He's bloody brilliant.
He hasn't said he loves me.
I don't want to make a big deal out of it though, and I don't mind if he doesn't say it back. But I want him to know how I feel.
Do I just casually drop it into conversation?
Christ, I feel like my sixteen year old self all over again. blush

SquadGoals Mon 14-Mar-16 10:31:05

I did this to DH. We'd been together a year and were lying in bed.

I just said "you know that I love you, don't you" and he laughed and said of course and said it back.

Both of us had been feeling it for a while but didn't have the courage. Still going strong now.

CardiffUniversityNetballTeam Mon 14-Mar-16 10:42:50

That's lovely squad. I think that's the kind of casual scenario I'm going to aim for!
Like I said, I don't want to make a massive deal out of it, but I've also come to learn that life's too short not to let people know how you feel.

claireemma86 Mon 14-Mar-16 10:51:50

I told my now husband after 2 weeks, we married 6 months later and are coming up to our 3 year anniversary.
I did have to be pissed before I told him so I could make a joke about it if he didn't feel the same!

brabit Mon 14-Mar-16 11:29:37

My friend say it ot her DH first but it took him 6 months to reciprocate, so I'd only say it if you have a thick skin!

ladylouanne Mon 14-Mar-16 11:50:16

There have been a couple of threads along these lines (I started one and am fascinated by the others!)

I'm in the same boat as you OP and also at the 5/6 month stage. I have decided my skin isn't thick enough to cope if I say it directly and he doesn't reciprocate. I've decided that I'll try another way eg the next time makes a self deprecating humorous comment, I could laugh and say 'luckily, that's one of the things I love about you', ever so casual like 😄

Then see what happens I suppose. The thing is, he behaves so wonderfully towards me and it feels like we're getting strong all the time, I just don't want to spoil it by rushing him.

Shemozzle Mon 14-Mar-16 12:07:36

My dp was a slow burner. I kind of knew I would love him from early on but wasn't ready to commit to it and say it out loud until much later. If he'd said it as early as most people say they did I think I would have freaked out and ignored. I think 6 months would have been ok possibly. I thought he said it when we were at a festival one weekend but he sort of whispered it and I wasn't sure if I imagined it. And then another time in bed I thought he might have muttered it. A couple of months later when we'd been together nearly a year we were outside at a party kissing and I just said it without even realising I was going to say it and he pulled back and said 'what did you say?' So I said it again, now self conscious. He said 'I love you'. We went back to kissing and then he stopped and said 'I told you. You know? I really do love you, I told you a few times'. We've been together 5 years now. I'm really glad I waited so I knew it wasn't just brand new relationship lust.

So my advise is don't think about it too much, wait for it to slip out.

Bree85 Mon 14-Mar-16 13:03:53

Just tell him how you feel so it won't stuck inside you. smile

ladylouanne Mon 14-Mar-16 13:06:22

Shwmozzle, I think I'm with a clone of your bloke! I think he may have muttered it too in bed but I wasn't sure I heard properly and then he didn't say it again, and obviously I didn't say it.

He's probably too scared to say it again, thinking I blanked him before!

NoraLouca Mon 14-Mar-16 13:32:44

I texted BF that I loved him in the middle of the night grin I woke up randomly at 3 a.m and just wanted him to know that I loved him. He was on nightshift so not waking him up or anything. He'd said it to me first, but I sort of got tongue tied and hadn't said it back though I wanted to.

magpie17 Mon 14-Mar-16 13:39:04

I knew I loved DH at about the three month mark and to be honest, I knew he loved me as well. I couldn't bring myself to say it first though, so waited for him, he said it at about five months and said he'd been waiting ages wanting to say it too!

I'd just drop it in casually, maybe as you're leaving his or ending a phone-call. Then there's no pressure for him to say it back but you have put it out there.

elliepac Mon 14-Mar-16 17:24:43

DP and I skirted around the issue for weeks, if not months. Lots of 'love that about you' or 'love it when you do that.' But neither of us actually having the balls to say those 3 words. Around the 5 month mark, i was having a bad day and he was working away. Was texting him about the issues and he was so amazing that I text back and told him i loved him. Thankfully he reciprocated! I am firmly of the belief that you do just know, knew very shortly after meeting DP that I was going to fall in love with him and he showed me in every possible way that he loved me without actually saying it. Even now, we are not a couple that says it all the time...but we know. Just tell him, but don't be too upset if he doesn't say it straight back although i have to say i waited until i was pretty sure he did.

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