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Boyfried or not??

(8 Posts)
tess1pink Sun 13-Mar-16 19:19:06

I'm 55 last relationship ended over a year ago...emotional abuse so glad we finished after 9 wasted years. Met 50 year old guy in August, never been treated so nice true gentleman. See each other once a week as he works away not home until 9'ish and we live about 30 mins drive away. Been away for wonderful weekends spoilt me rotten at Christmas and now bought me a car! Have wonderful time every week. Yet from day one he has said "if you fall for me I will run but if you don't fall for me I will fall for you" !!! I have just laughed it off, then today after buying me the car, not a cheap one at that, over breakfast I thanked him for a lovely breakfast and he replied "it will be such a sad day when we part"!!! I shook it off as usual as I really don't want the relationship to end. (he always says it in a silly tone) We're going away for the weekend again in 2 weeks and he has even book next new years eve away, as it had to be booked up quickly! I know he was hurt in his last relationship. The thing is when we're together I really feel he loves me or at least has deep feelings for me. He has said to me also that he doesn't know what I see in him look wise and although I'm 55 refers to me as his trophy girlfriend but again said in gest. I'm afraid if I ask him where this relationship is going he may well say goodbye. And to be honest I have my own life to get on with in the week and seeing him once a week works very well atm. Am I analysing this too much and I know I should just sit back and enjoy the ride...I would if I knew his intentions. I've met the neighbours and he speaks about his friends and family and seems to be hiding nothing from me. I wonder sometimes if he says these things to get a reaction from me as to where I think we're heading! Perhaps he thinks I will 'dump' him so he says odd things like that. I know the only way to find out is to ask but I can't. Am I wasting my time?

Maturecheddarcheese Sun 13-Mar-16 19:23:01

Why do you shake it off when he says things about when you will part ways? Don't you want to know what he means? He sounds like he's trying to mess with your mind by being so contradictory.

Flanks Sun 13-Mar-16 19:25:08

At the risk of sounding callous, I don't see the problem here.

You have a great relationship with a guy who treats you well at a level of involvement that suits your lifestyle.

Why are you worried about this again?

The only reason for your line of thinking is if you want to settle down with him, and your post gives no indication of wanting to do this.

Chicago73 Sun 13-Mar-16 19:39:56

I'm tempted to say just enjoy it but my gut instinct is that he's playing with your emotions.

tess1pink Sun 13-Mar-16 19:42:00

I would eventually like to settle down again and if it worked out yes, with him. I feel at my age time is against me I guess I don't want to waste time.

goddessofsmallthings Sun 13-Mar-16 19:42:50

I agree with Flanks and suggest you stop overthinking and enjoy it while it lasts. Don't worry about his 'intentions'; you've got him eating out of your hand and what you have together suits you for now.

With regard to from day one he has said "if you fall for me I will run but if you don't fall for me I will fall for you" I suggest you take him at his word and keep it light. As he refers to you as his 'trophy girlfriend' refer to him as your 'toyboy' and keep him on his toes. smile

goddessofsmallthings Sun 13-Mar-16 19:45:50

I feel at my age time is against me

Don't fall for this common fallacy as you'll still be attractive to, and attracting, men when you're in your 80's. Once you've got it, you never lose it wink

tess1pink Sun 13-Mar-16 20:06:25

Thanks all, toyboy yes I will certainly use that one! I just have to strong and stop myself getting emotionally evolved too much.....

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