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Repeatedly disappointing dad

(1 Post)
birdiale Sat 12-Mar-16 15:13:00

Hi,

I'm hoping someone can offer some advice or their opinions on my current situation with my dad, or "daddy issues" (god I hate that).

I think it's worth mentioning my parents split up around 7 years ago, I have no unresolved feelings about it as it was mutual and for the better, but my dad resents my mum and repeatedly bad mouths her, which I cannot stand as she has done everything (inc. when they were together). He has no input, connection or will to know anything about me or my life.

I haven't spoken to or seen him since I began university, he's always on his phone but is adamant it is my responsibility to communicate - so I stopped, low and behold, we just don't have a relationship now as he never bothers.

I also have a younger brother who is yet to give up but is let down again and again. My dad left for Thailand last year for six months - mum told me he left, brother told me he was back. He left again a few weeks ago, my grandad told me he's gone. I don't know if I'm being unfair but as a parent are you not supposed to made some effort with your child, I was always "dads girl" and now I just feel totally let down.

I'm struggling a lot with money, so is my mum, yet she always helps. He has 3 properties he rents out, a number or bikes, truck, annual holidays to Thailand - I don't think I'm entitled - but I get no help from him whatsoever. I absolutely love horse riding (trivial I know) but lessons are expensive and being at uni it's difficult, I asked if he could help me get a few and he just ignored me, I'd rather get a straight no. He promised to help me pass my driving test, something a dad should teach his daughter apparently, then when push came to shove he wouldn't because "I'm going to uni so I can't have a car" even though I use mums during holidays; so I took on more shifts and did it myself with mums help.

He seems to have a woe is me attitude like we're all purposely shitting on him and frankly it's irritating. He's moved home, has no responsibility, bills, commitments and his biggest issue is he's undecided on whether to live in this country or abroad - I just think it's insulting to complain about that to me and my brother when we are so clearly struggling.

I'm sorry about the excessive rant and well done in getting to the end (thankyou). I'm just really unhappy and this is adding to the stress of everything else. What am I supposed to do? confused

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