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Why the big change?

(6 Posts)
Confusedmomma Fri 11-Mar-16 19:27:14

I posted a few weeks ago in AIBU about my DP.
To cut my aibu thread short - I thought my partner was being weird with his co-worker. Constantly talking about her , having private jokes in texts , said her name in his sleep , talked about sexual history and he would bend over backwards too accomodate her for example swapping shifts - letting her leave early and he would stay on.

Now we had a massive row about this he said I am insecure , I responded you are making me insecure about her. Now he has done a complete 180 about her , doesn't talk about her , if he does mention her name it's to moan about being put on shift with her. It just all seems so bizarre too me , I'd like to think he's took on board my feelings about the situation. But I'm dubious. Going from best buds and defending her constantly too now despising her. Is he saying this too please me? Has he stepped back because he realised he was being an inconsiderate SOB or has something happened. I genuinley don't know what too make of this situation. What would you all do in my position?

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Fri 11-Mar-16 19:30:03

I don't know what I would do, but my first reaction to what you have said is that she has knocked back his advances, sorry.

SongBird16 Fri 11-Mar-16 19:37:23

I pulled my ex up on his mentionitis too, and he never said her name again. I was relieved but their relationship continued and he lives with her now. Your case could be entirely different, just giving you my experience. Don't ignore your instincts.

StrawberryMouse Fri 11-Mar-16 19:40:56


I'd say it means something has changed in their relationship. Hopefully for the good of your relationship rather than to the detriment.

Fidelia Fri 11-Mar-16 19:45:52

Erm, sounds like he's trying a bit TOO hard? Overcompensating for something? Certainly sounds like he doesn't know how to be normal about her, to you, anyway.

BolshierAryaStark Fri 11-Mar-16 21:02:50

He had mentionitis, you pulled him up on this & now he has stfu or bitches about her. Sorry but I very much doubt that the shift is good for your relationship. Talking about a colleagues sex life to you is just weird-do you know her personally as if so it slightly less odd?
What are your instincts telling you about this?

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