Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Social media friends

(14 Posts)
oddsod Fri 11-Mar-16 06:58:13

Hi, this feels like an adolescent query.
Before I was married there was no big social media thing. Now I'm single I don't understand how it works.
There's a guy I've been interested in for a while. We're members of a couple of online local groups but had no direct communication , I've seen him in the street but he has no idea who I am.

Anyway...I 'like' a few of his statuses in said groups. I like lots of stuff, not just his.. Then at the weekend he sent me a friend request.
I was delighted!
I accepted, kind of expecting a hello message or suchlike but nothing.

I've since 'liked' a few of his funny statuses, they are mainly jokes, I responded to one which was nostalgic, just saying I'd forgotten about the featured character, no response.

Nothing different from anything I'd do on anybody else's statuses.

I noticed that a lot of the likes and comments he gets are from attractive women. I have no idea of his relationship status, one of the women is a bit flirty

So...what do I do, if anything?
I'd like to strike up a convo, see if my interested is warranted, can't tell much about him from what he posts, is he just after likes or adoration?

Should I just ignore him or send a direct message?
Sorry for seeming obtuse , this is all new to me!

NoodleNuts Fri 11-Mar-16 11:31:19

What would you say if you send a direct message? Is his relationship status not on his profile page? How can you be interested in someone you don't know and have never met, is it just based on his posts?

Plenty of people who are in the same groups send friend requests to each other, it doesn't necessarily mean anything. Personally I wouldn't do anything.

MadisonMontgomery Fri 11-Mar-16 11:39:58

Tbh I have 'friends' on Facebook who I'd never speak to in real life. A lot of people send friend requests if you went to the same school, worked at the same place, if you once met them on a night out etc. I wouldn't read too much into it - if he's interested am sure he'll let you know.

oddsod Fri 11-Mar-16 13:02:56

I don't know what I would send in a message. I like looking at and reading the things he posts in the groups we're both in, so I know we have lots of shared interests, plus of course he looks attractive!

No relationship status but he has put self effacing posts about his singledom so that's pretty clear cut.

He is funny (on screen) cute when I've seen him locally and that's the sum of my minor crush. We have mutual friends but they're not people I know very well either.
It is a minor crush, I'm not pining or fantasising, I just was intrigued to receive his request after quietly crushing on him very privately. I meant to respond straight away with a 'hi' message, acknowledging our new 'friendship' but was so busy after accepting, it feels like the moment has kind of gone.

I do have other 'friends' I never communicate with, I tend to leave it a while then in my occasional review/cull, I delete them if we've had no interaction, don't see the point of collecting people for old time sake but I would like to meet someone so want to keep options open where someone possibly eligible is concerned.

I am not being desperate. I have deleted many men who have made overtures, not being big headed, I think (In my experience) divorced women can be a magnet for bored married men and sleazy chancers!

MadeMan Fri 11-Mar-16 16:30:12

Next time you see him in the street you could try walking right up to him and saying something like, "Hey, you're that funny guy off the internet!"

See how he likes that. smile

DarrenHardysDrongo Fri 11-Mar-16 16:44:05

You can't always read too much into a friend request, IME.
I've had requests from people who are in the same groups that I've never met and never will. Ditto friend requests from people who are friends of my friends but live on the other side of the world.

In your position I'd continue to build on the comms online for a while, respond to his posts etc.
Alternatively, if you're braver than I am, next time you see him out and about just tell him who you are and how you 'know' him. If it starts a conversation - great!

curren Fri 11-Mar-16 17:08:46

Op people's fb rarely reflects RL. I know a few people who Real life is nothing like you see in FB.

All their 'only friends on FB friends' have a completely different view of them.

His FB page does not mean anything.

If you have shared interests can't you speak to him there?

Bree85 Fri 11-Mar-16 18:41:44

Yeah. Maybe you can try speaking to him personally. Maybe he is different from his facebook.

scarlets Fri 11-Mar-16 18:58:26

I think that the next time you see each other out and about, you should stop and chat, rather than just say hi. See how it goes from there.

sonjadog Fri 11-Mar-16 19:42:12

If you would feel awkward going up to speak to him in the street, how about instead of just "liking" things we writes on fb, you comment and engage him in conversation online. Think of it a bit like a virtual meeting in the street. See if he is interested in having a chat, get to know him gradually online and see if he is interesting when you get to know him, or if you aren't romantically interested after all.

oddsod Sat 12-Mar-16 03:07:36

What lovely replies , thank you. I will take and use all the advice (not all at the same time) and keep options well and truly open. He won't be getting all my eggs in his basket.

Seren85 Sat 12-Mar-16 04:11:52

Next time you see him in the street, assuming you aren't even on nodding hello terms, can't you just post to him "hey, think I saw you today but wasn't sure. I was heading up X road to the asda (or whatever). Hope you had a good day anyway." Optional x on the end if its your usual style.

oddsod Sat 12-Mar-16 07:56:34

seren85 nicely done 😉
Some brilliant ideas on this thread, I like a little lightheartedness on here.
'Real' life can be so....real.

oddsod Wed 16-Mar-16 18:31:28

Update: I made a few tentative overtures, completely blanked despite him 'liking' and responding to others' comments.
Reader, I deleted him.

Life's too short for those kind of childish guessing games!

Onwards and upwards 🙂

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now